Parenting : Too Busy To Just … Play?
Today, it’s somewhat common to see ‘busy’ little children, isn’t it?
And they can be as young as two or three years old.
They are sent to school, different classes, music lessons / sports activities outside the home. They are away from their Mommy and Daddy for many hours each day. For ‘too many hours’, perhaps.
While I am generally not against the lessons themselves (though I do question the necessity of sending small children to many, MANY enrichment classes), I wonder about the amount of time kids these days have … just doing, nothing.
Perhaps, doing activities that may seem to not be so ‘educational’, like … scribbling, running around with friends, playing with Lego bricks, or lying around on the bed with Mommy / Daddy / brother / sister and just … be together (note: No gadgets in anyone’s hands)
Because as much as academics and other skills are good and need to be explored and developed, when it comes to parent-child and siblings relationships, I really believe nothing can ever replace ‘real time spent with each other’, yes?
And anyway, don’t small children need relationships more than knowing how to play music, sports, or knowing how to read and write early?
Just a little food for thought for us all.
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Have a great weekend, everyone!
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wanna drop a note and seek some advices from u?
my older boy is in k1. i sent him for some enrichments, english, chinese, piano and art…wow that does sounds alot right?….but my expectations for him is to go for classes and absorb what he learns there..and from my side, he has to finish his enrichment homework that’s all as his cc does not believe in homework..
whenever he comes home from full day cc.. he will play.. play his toys, play imaginary….. imagine he is a transfomer, imagine he is a dragon….all unstructured.. goes with his mood..goes with his imagination for that moment…sometimes i get so scared whether i am threading on the right path for him… i worry whether he will be able to cope with the singapore norms when he goes into pri 1… while kids at his age can write their own name beautifully, mine’s all over the sky (if there is no line).. everyone’s around me encouraged setting up a routine for him.. and i tried but failed.. coz he is like an untamed horse, wanting to do what he likes.. the only routine i managed to sustain is to let him go to bed at 930pm to 10pm whahahhahahaa
what would u advise? hahhaa let him enjoy his childhood and continue playing or try setting a routine for him, with scheduled timing for play and other stuffs (like writing, practice sheets etc.)?
I do send my children to music lessons instead of enrichment “tuition” lessons because I feel being a straight “A”s student will not bring you far in life. Rather, music can give you a lifetime of joy and enjoyment. Art lessons and fitness lessons like karate or ballet are those classes i never rejected too.
Hi Wynn,
Thanks for sharing …
Again, I personally am not against the actual activities themselves (and yep, exposure to music is great … ) … I guess, I’m more concerned about the ‘motivation’ behind sending kids to so many different activities … (many are done because of ‘kiasu-ness’ and to get the kids be ‘the best amongst the peers’)
Hi Leonny, I share the same thought with you. Our children should have more time to play – both free play and structured/guided play. They learn a lot from playing – though can’t be explicitely measured like an enrichment class. And yes spending time with family and building relationship is VERY important, esp when they are at a young age. It helps them to develop their EQ, EQ drives success and happiness in the long run more than IQ.
Hi Abby,
I agree with you too on that EQ vs IQ too …
Great IQ without good EQ … ? err …
Finding a good balance is not easy …
We do not send our children to many enrichment classes or load them with a lot of homework. They are however the ones who ask for homework. We have a lot of toys at home, but they prefer doing work to playing the toys. (btw I’ve 3 kids, 5, 3 and 2 mths)
We often ask them to play by themselves especially when I am busy with housework. My hubby was asking me that day, are we wasting their time by not sending them to more classes?
Well I was thinking… Perhaps even if we do not send them to enrichment, they may be wasting their time doing nothing or watching TV rather then engaging in meaningful play which benefits their development.
Hi Haze,
Your 2 elder kids are rather similar in age to my 2 older ones (who have 2.5 years age gap)! =)
I remember how since they’re young, I introduced them to different simple activities at home … things that they could do together as brother and sister too … watercolour play, crafts time .. anything (I share some of the ideas here : http://www.oureverydaythings.com/category/crafts-activity-ideas-for-kids/) We limit their TV time too (like, they’d only watch a DVD on certain days and that’s it), or I’d take them out and we’d go out together, even just to take an afternoon walk (while I pushed the pram, the 2 older ones could be on their scooter/bike).
Personally, I find such activities .. nice =), though definitely is simple and may not even be a ‘proper, meaningful’ play … Somehow I find that the 2 siblings also learn how to be ‘good siblings’ during such interactions too …
We live and raise our children in the “system”. And that system’s goals are economic ones and have sadly overshadowed so many other important areas important to true family relationships. So sad.
Hi Kway Teow, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
I feel regardless of where we are today, if we’re an Asian, living in an Asian country especially, … we have this ‘pressure’ from the society and the ‘system’ that places value and importance on economic goals, academic achievements and material gains … which sadly tends to regard a child as a ‘commodity’ and reduces ‘relationships’ too as you mentioned … So i guess in the end, the family values and how a child is raised play a huge difference ?
Thank u for reminding.. 🙂
Hi Cathj,
Thank you too for dropping by and leaving a comment =)
This reminder is for me and our family too …
It’s sad. What with schoolwork and the tuition needed to keep up with classmates and the CCA, kids time to just play.
A lot of it is due to the kiasu mentality.
If I don’t send my kid to this enrichment class, will he lose out?
Hi Janice,
I agree that the pressure is strong and with everyone else sending their kids to all sorts of tuitions, if we don’t do the same, our child seems to ‘lose out’ and is ‘behind’ the others.
Not easy definitely… I know of some families who choose to not bother much about that though and just let the child not attend a ‘top school’, just so that there’s less pressure to compete and perform, and a little more time for the kid and family to spend together (because there’s less homework in that particular school). I guess such a school (that places more importance on other areas too other than performance in science, maths, chinese and english) is rare to find these days … ?