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Sorrow for Past Offence Prior to Change of Behaviour

16 June 2017 – 6:17 pm |

 
We say, children are blessings from above.
It’s true.
But, we are no perfect people.
Our children are no angels.
And as parents, we deal with children and their misbehaviours every single day.

If you’re a parent, …

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Sorrow for Past Offence Prior to Change of Behaviour

16 June 2017 | Posted in: Inspirational, Parenting | No Comment


 
We say, children are blessings from above.

It’s true.

But, we are no perfect people.

Our children are no angels.

And as parents, we deal with children and their misbehaviours every single day.

If you’re a parent, I’m sure you agree how dealing with tantrums, screaming, bad moods and crying is mentally exhausting.

And, It IS easier to respond by doing one of the following (or ALL, depending on our mood at the time?):

– send the child to his/her room (or to a corner for a few minutes)
– scold the child, ‘Don’t do it again! Off you go!’
– give a quick slap on the hand (and our ‘I’m so not happy with you!’ stare)
– yell, ‘Stop it!’ and leave the room

The right behaviour that’s expected of the child is shown and explainedWhen it comes to parenting, I realise one thing:
As much as I wanted to, it’s not ‘good for the child’ if we just do the above as our response to a child’s misbehaviour.

And mostly because, they receive no guidance as to WHY what they did was wrong and HOW they should better behave in the future.

It’s our ‘quick fix’ to a potentially mind-numbing misbehaviours and tantrums.

But our quick fix apparently, is not doing any good to the child.

As a parent of three, I learn how we need to make sure:

– Misbehaviours are addressed, consistently

– Disciplinary actions are explained to the child (if the child is still tantrumy, then explanation comes AFTER the child has calmed down)

– Impacts of the child’s action or words towards others are explained

– The right behaviour that’s expected of the child is shown and explained

– Pray with and for the child

(For a person a faith, like me, I’d also explain how disobedience, tendencies to hurt others or be selfish are all due to our sinful nature, and that’s why we need Jesus Christ in our lives, who has conquered over sin)

I guess the point is, our child needs to be guided towards feeling ‘sorrowful’ towards the past ‘offence’.

This whole process takes a very LONG time, though.

Which means, we need to repeat ourselves again and again =\

Being patient, yet at the same time consistent and FIRM towards our children’s disobedience, is not easy. But it’s possible.

(May God give us wisdom and patience in handling our children’s daily misbehaviours)

How can I not learn to be patient and consistent with my kids
You know, often, I feel like I’ve failed as a parent.

Like, as if what I’ve said, instilled and taught all these years have no impact whatsoever on the child.

I try to remind myself though, that God goes through the same (long and tiring!) process when HE’s dealing with me and MY misbehaviours, too.

Yet, HE is always so patient and merciful towards me.

Yes. Me.

So how can I not learn to be patient and consistent with my kids, too?

Food for thought.

‘Thank You’ and ‘Please’, Even at Home

2 June 2017 | Posted in: Inspirational | No Comment

Do our children say ‘Thank You’ and ‘Please’ at home?

Do they thank their Mom for cooking their dinner?

Do they say ‘Please’ when they ask their Dad or brother to play the CD in the car?



Parents who teach their children to say ‘Thank You’ and ‘Please’ to others outside the home may unconsciously NOT remind their children to do it for family members at home.

May be it’s because we see each other all so often every day?

Or may be, it’s because parents automatically assume that it’s their duty to help and provide for their kids, so they need not say ‘Thank you’ or ‘Please’?

Personally, I believe children must be taught to say ‘Thank you’ and ‘please’, even at home.

(And, we of course must do it ourselves, too!)

Why?

Because, although we cook and provide for the children, ‘responsibilities through thankful gestures’ need to be taught and exercised early.

They may not say it ‘all the time’ and not for every single help they get from family members. Nevertheless, appreciating those at home is what they need to learn and do.

Food for thought:
If they don’t say thanks to the people they see, how do they thank God whom they cannot see?

Dear Brie: Story of Your 6th Pink Pocky Birthday Cake!

28 May 2017 | Posted in: Daily, Parenting | No Comment


 
Brie,
I thought of writing this post as a letter to you. You know, so you can read it later and remember what it’s like when you turned six.

Well, let me start by telling you, … did you know that you’ve been counting the weeks and days towards your sixth birthday? =)

‘Mommy, in FOUR days, I’ll be SIX!’Like when we had our regular ‘family sleepover’ where we all cramped into one bed and you’d be next to me, you woke me up in the morning, smiling, and say, ‘Mommy, in FOUR days, I’ll be SIX!’

You said you’re excited because you’d be BIG, … BIGGER than before! =)

(Well, being the youngest in MY family, I totally know what you mean, Brie. When I was your age, I too looked forward to my birthdays, because it meant I got a little older, like my sisters)

Anyway.

That photo at the top, that’s taken the night before your birthday.

We celebrated it ‘early’ because Daddy had to travel for work the next day. He didn’t want to miss getting together for your birthday! (Yes, that’s how much he loves you!)
 

 
Then, some five days later, you celebrated your birthday with your K2 friends.

(Why FIVE days later? Because Mommy was so very busy that week, and day 5 after your birthday was the best date for everyone =)

Anyway, you looked forward to THIS one, too.

You asked me (so many times) about the kind of birthday cake I’d be preparing for you.

Can it be Frozen? Or Little Pony? It’s okay if it’s just Olaf.
 


 
And, my answers have always been, … we’ll see later what it’ll be like, ya. Whatever it is like, we need to be thankful for all the blessings that we get.

My week was a crazy busy one that it seemed impossible for me to plan anything for your birthday at schoolBrie, I need you to know something.

I really wanted to bake a cake for your birthday. I wanted to bake birthday cakes for all my kids while I still can. But, my week was a crazy busy one that it seemed impossible for me to plan anything for your birthday at school.

I thought of just buying a cake off a shop. I mean, at least we have a cake, right? It’s okay if it’s bought or made, … yes?

Well, somehow, I still wanted the privilege, … the privilege of preparing birthday cakes for you. After all, it’s just ONCE a year … I sure can think of something, yes?

 

 

And so THIS was what I managed to create.

I remember seeing the big smile on your face when you saw us bring it to your class. You gave us big hugs and said, ‘Thank you, Mommy! Thank you, Daddy!’. Such a rewarding feeling.

Thank you, Brie, … for saying thank you, and for loving what I’ve made for you.

Btw.

I thought you should see some behind-the-scene photos =)

I’ll start with this photo of your pink pocky birthday cake.
 

 
And the photo below, is how the actual cake looked like on the INSIDE.

Nothing fancy =)

There were TWO cakes: vanilla strawberry cake, and chocolate marble cake below it.

Instead of baking your birthday cake this year, I bought these two at the supermarket. I thought this is the best solution to my ‘not-enough-time-to-bake-a-birthday-cake’ situation.

With NO time spent on baking the cake, I only needed to put the whole ‘decoration’ together.

This is do-able, I told myself.

I lined up the pocky sticks around the cake, using strawberry jam as the ‘glue’ (this is just me experimenting. The jam apparently didn’t help much).
 

Here’s one thing you must know: it was difficult to get the sticks to ‘stand’ (ie. Not fall to the sides).

So I used my ‘ round baking pan’ to help hold the sticks up. It sort of helped in the beginning, but I couldn’t use the baking pan to hold ‘all’ the sticks, because the pan was bigger than the cake itself.

So I decided to use my pink wool yarn to hold the sticks together.

It worked!

When I managed to get the sticks all around the cake, I used a new pink wool yarn to tie the sticks together (and threw the old yarn I used earlier).
 

 
The next thing I needed to do, was to find something to fill up the ‘hole’ in the middle of the cake.

You see, I wanted to cover the top of the cake with fondant and decorate it with your name and all, but I couldn’t do it if there’s still a big hole.

Thank God for the glass of mineral water I saw on the kitchen top.

It fit the hole perfectly! =)
 

 
After this, it was pretty much straight forward.

I used a bit of fondant to cover the cake’s top. Then, with some food colouring, I made just enough pink fondant to make your name, the big number ‘6’ and two stars.

Oh, and I purposely bought tall candles to make your cake look more … ‘special’ =)

Voila!

This is how it looked when it was done!
 

 
Brie,
That was how your cake was created.

Buying one off a shop would have been a quick solution for everyone, but I knew if had done that, I would’ve regretted not hand-making your birthday cake, while I still can.

So, this was the best that I could come up with, given the little time we had.
 

 
Celebrating your birthday with your K2 teachers and friends was another blessing, btw!

You chose the song ‘L.O.V.E.’ (which everyone sang and danced to). You also chose the birthday ‘newspaper’ game.

It was so fun to watch!

(At the same time, I felt a little tug at my heartstrings. I realised it was your last birthday in Kindy. You’re growing up too fast, Brie)
 

 
So there you are.

You’re six.

I really thank God for you, and for everything that He has blessed you with.

Always remember, you are so blessed. Don’t ever forget to thank God for everything.

Remember too, that we love you, and that one of our prayers is, for you to grow up and be the kind of person God wants you to be, to know Him personally, to be a blessing to others, giving all your God-given talents back, for the glory of God.

Amen.
 

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Ever felt that?
That you haven’t done enough for the children?
That you wish you could’ve done better as a Mom?
Well, I’m sooo feeling it this past week.
 

 
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