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What Kind of a ‘Break’ Do Our Children Get?

20 July 2015 – 4:41 am | 4 Comments

 
Came across an interesting quote the other day:
“One thing I know for sure about raising children is that every single day a kid needs discipline…. But also every single day a kid needs a break.”
- …

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Mommy is a Wife and Daddy is a Husband

26 July 2015 | Posted in: Inspirational, Marriage & Relationships | 2 Comments

 

Here’s one food for thought I’d like to share with you this weekend:

So much emphasis is placed on being ‘the kind of parent God wants us to be‘.

But, while we struggle and strive to do THAT, do we also strive and give our best to be ‘the kind of husband/wife God wants us to be‘?

While we do our best to love and bond with our children, do we also make the effort and sacrifice in building our relationship based on love, understanding, trust and respect with our husband/wife?

In our general rule of man-woman, husband-wife, mommy-daddy:

A Mom is a Wife to someone.

And, a Dad is a Husband to someone.

 

 

Building on our marriage is NO less important than becoming better parents day by day.

Our children watch how we interact with each other as husband and wife.

They will observe and learn about husband-wife relationships from OUR relationship with our spouse.

Is the relationship based on love, trust and understanding?

Do Mommy and Daddy communicate with one another, support each other in their spiritual growth and ministry?

Does Mommy value Daddy’s opinions? Does Daddy respect Mommy in his words and actions?

Food for thought is for all husbands and wives out there.

Have a blessed Sunday, everyone!

Photography : Continuous Shots

24 July 2015 | Posted in: Photography | No Comment




 

When you’re out and about at the pool or by the beach, have you tried taking some fun shots using the ‘continuous’ feature on your camera? =)

We’ve tried it with water splashes.

And recently, we tried it again when Brie threw some sands over to her left side!

I liked the ‘flying sands’ look! =D

Have fun and have a go at it yeah!

 

 
Location : Pulorida Island, a deserted island some 8 mins away by boat from ‘Pantai Kelapa Tujuh’, Merak, West Java.

Checking Out : Muara Angke Port, Jakarta

22 July 2015 | Posted in: Daily, Places to Visit | No Comment

 

If you’re thinking of going to nearby islands near Jakarta (Kepulauan Seribu), how do you usually get your boat info and departure details?

Friends who have just went?

Info on random blogs and sites found on the internet?

So far I can’t find an official website set up by the port that states (and updates) the different boat info and departure times to the various islands.

So. The other day, we decided to just check out the port ourselves.

 

 

How did it go?

Well, … I wish there’re clear directions for visitors.

We saw none, and we had to ask around.

We’re then told that the port has ‘moved’ to a new location.

And as expected, there were no directions on how to get to the new port.

(We were told by the locals that the new port has just been opened on Hari Raya)

 

 

I thought the new port itself was considerably ‘okay’ for Indonesia’s standard.

BUT, the roads towards the port and the surrounding area were poorly maintained =(

 

 

The boat departures and prices were printed on a piece of A4 paper and pasted on the window.

Mmmm … at least I did spot this purple board.

 

 

It was truly sad =(

The slums, bad road condition, piles of rubbish and oh, the strench … I truly feel sorry for those who live around this area.

 

 

I did wonder, was it because the locals there litter and don’t care for their neighbourhood all this while?

Or has the local government ignored the development of the area for too long already?

I mean, the local officials must’ve had the budgets, no? How can it be left in such a condition for so long?

I don’t get it.

 

 

Anyway, I see more and more areas being developed and renewed since Jokowi and Ahok officially are in charge.

God is still merciful towards Indonesia. Thank God!

There are so many areas waiting to be fixed. And it is such a huge homework for them.

It’s not easy.

But I’m totally supporting their work plans!

Hoping for a better Jakarta and Indonesia!

For more of our photos of Muara Angke Port (Pelabuhan Muara Angke), click : http://on.fb.me/1JeQvEX!

What Kind of a ‘Break’ Do Our Children Get?

20 July 2015 | Posted in: Parenting | 4 Comments

 

Came across an interesting quote the other day:

“One thing I know for sure about raising children is that every single day a kid needs discipline…. But also every single day a kid needs a break.”
- Anne Lamott

Interesting quote, I thought.

And I agree with it.

For some reasons though, the quote reminded me of what someone shared with me quite a while back.

She told me about a 10-year-old boy who – during the school holiday – would IMMEDIATELY play games on his iPad upon waking up in the morning.

He’d play for like, TWO hours in one go.

He’s indirectly trained to place emphasis on self and self-interest, and not other people’sHe’d do this nearly everyday, throughout the school holiday.

Question: Did his parents know and allow it to happen?

Answer : Yes, and it’s because :

- When he’s told to stop, he didn’t stop playing. And so the parents stopped repeating themselves.

- “It’s holiday lah, it’s okay!’

Since it’s the school holiday, the parents felt it’s okay for him to do what he wanted to do. Especially since the boy wouldn’t be able to wake up late and play games that long when school has started.

As I always say, parents have their own ways of running their family.

And, parents are free to do whatever they feel is best for their children.

Having said that though, if I was asked whether I’d let the above situation happen to OUR children, the answer would be a clear no.

No, I wouldn’t let our children play any iPad / computer / mobile phone games upon waking up in the morning.

Regardless of whether it’s the school holiday or the weekends.

And, especially NOT for 2 hours, in one go or not.

 


[Exploring nature and being out in the open is one kind of activity that our family likes to encourage in our children]

 

My reasons?

Here are some of my personal reasons:

- I am not against the whole idea of ‘playing games on gadgets’ itself, BUT if what a child desires the most upon waking up in the morning (read: what he feels would make him happiest when he wakes up, what occupies his mind and makes him happy first thing in the morning, what he thinks about when he first opens his eyes) is to play games on gadgets, then to me, that is a HUGE problem.
 
It is a huge problem because :

- The act of playing games on gadgets then has truly become the ‘idol’ in his life, ie. Playing games is what makes him happiest!
And this is something I wouldn’t want to happen to our kids.

- This means, he’s allowed (by his parents) to focus his time and energy only upon himself.
He’s indirectly trained to place emphasis on self and self-interest, and not other people’s.

 


[Cycling together at Ocean EcoPark, Ancol - a nice way of spending family time together]

 

- This means, he’s allowed to ignore interactions with fellow members of the family upon seeing them in the morning.
The first sentences he’d say in the morning would probably be, ‘Where’s the iPad?’ instead of greeting parents / siblings with a ‘good morning….’?

he’s indirectly trained to ‘ignore’ his responsibilities> This means he’d been ‘made to lose’ his ability to find other means of activities that could entertain and occupy his holiday time, … activities that would give more and better variety to his life.

- If playing games on gadgets is what makes him happiest, usually he’ll find it hard to enjoy doing something else, like reading, playing music, drawing, socialising and playing with other friends his age,  interacting with siblings, helping around the house, etc.

playing games on gadgets is never a child’s ‘right’> This means, he’s indirectly trained to ‘ignore’ his responsibilities (read: not taught on the importance of ‘knowing and doing our priorities’)
 
- To me, playing games on gadgets is never a child’s ‘right’.
It’s just one of the things that our kids can do when all other ‘more important’ things have been done.
Eg. Upon waking up in the morning, don’t ask for games if you haven’t even had your breakfast, shower, brush your teeth, practice piano, etc.

 


[Two older kids prepared dinner all on their own - a nice practice of what teamwork means, and a way to instill responsibility and enjoyment of being a hands-on and helpful member of the family]

 

- If allowed on a regular basis (though it’s done ‘only‘ during the school holiday), I feel as the parent, I’m allowing my child to be ‘addicted’, ie. The child would ‘expect’ his parents to allow him to do what he usually is allowed to do, … otherwise he’d throw his tantrums!
(‘What else can I do at home?? I feel bored! I don’t know what else to do!!!‘)
 
loving something should never make us disrespectful / ignorant towards others- Deliberately ignoring the parents when they ask him to do something is a big no-no for us.

Okay, of course this does NOT mean a child is a total robot with zero possibilities of expressing his thoughts or requests.

To me, the problem is on the act of ‘purposely not responding’ because the child is so engrossed with the games in his hands.

I mean, it is fine if you really like doing something, BUT … liking / loving something should never make us disrespectful / ignorant towards others, what more our parents.

 


[We feel it is a necessity to encourage the ability and willingness in our kids to find different ways of entertaining themselves]
 

Actually I could still go on and on, but I guess I’ll stop here for now.

The food for thought that I’d like to share is this:

Yes, children need ‘a break’, but there’s a bigger question that follows : what kind of a ‘break’ do we parents ‘give’ to them?

Will the kind of ‘break’ we allow them to have lead them to worse behaviour, addiction, compromise / ignorance of responsibilities and appreciation towards others, etc?

Parenting is such a complex task, isn’t it?

Training and raising our children with a ‘healthy balance of everything’ often seems such exhausting and even ‘impossible’.

I know I myself often feel that way.

Ah.

May God give us the wisdom to know how we should raise our children, and the perseverance and consistency to walk our talk and be living examples for our children.

May God help us all.

Giving Our Child a Head Start in Education : To Join or To Not Join in the Rat Race

10 July 2012 | Posted in: Parenting | 5 Comments
sundaytimes 1child 2schools

We have this hot topic going on over on my Facebook right now.
I posted a shot of this Sunday Times article (courtesy of a fellow mom) and wrote something along this line:
There’s an increasing trend …

Things Money can’t buy …

30 August 2010 | Posted in: Inspirational, Parenting | 23 Comments
leonny_vai_bw

In a world where ‘having lots of money’ is often perceived by many as ‘necessary’ in order to ‘enjoy life better’, it is undeniable that the search for money and material comfort has somehow (consciously …

Growing up

18 October 2007 | Posted in: Parenting | No Comment
anya_9oct

We all grow up. Even as adults, we should never stop growing.
In our general knowledge of things. In our characters and mindset. In our spirituality. In our love for God. In our relationship with our …

The Need to be a Good Company to our Spouse

20 April 2015 | Posted in: Inspirational, Marriage & Relationships | 2 Comments
wilson_leonny_2015

 
Something sweet my husband wrote on his Facebook wall yesterday =)

That night, as we both chatted about this and that, I shared with him my thoughts on what he wrote on Facebook.
I said:
You know what? …

Thoughts and Tips for All Husbands

15 August 2013 | Posted in: Marriage & Relationships, Parenting | No Comment
wilson leonny_bw

 
My husband and I attended a 3-day parenting workshop last week, and it was such a blessing.
We learned and were reminded of so many things too.
Now, since I usually blog about motherhood and kids, this …

Book : First-time Mom

2 May 2008 | Posted in: Marriage & Relationships, Parenting, Video | One Comment
first-time-mom-book

Here’s one parenting book I’d like to recommend today.
First-time Mom, by Dr. Kevin Leman.
Getting off on the right foot – from birth to first grade
After a friend of mine shared how insightful the book …