Not Pursuing a Career Outside the Home – Have I made the Right Decision?
If you have chosen a life as a Mom who does not pursue a career outside the home, and instead, fully look after and raise your child or children, I’m sure this thought ever crossed your mind – even for a second :
‘Have I made the right decision?‘
Now, why am I so sure that this question most possibly has crossed your mind?
the convenience of having more income from having a careerBecause, probably, your family or friends may have asked you (if not again and again) WHY you have chosen to NOT have a career outside the home (ie. Despite your university degrees, the ease of leaving your child in the care of a nanny or grandparent, the convenience of having more income from having a career, etc)
Because, probably, your children may have been acting so HORRIBLY that day, and you’re just soooooo exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically, that you thought it’s probably better for someone else to raise your children instead! (you know, because you’ve become a ‘monster mom’ from all the rebuking, yelling and threatening)
Everyone / every family has unique situations, I’m sure.
To those who chose to not pursue a career outside the home, here’s a passage I’d like to share with you today.
It’s taken from a book called “Lies Women Believe, and the Truth that Sets Them Free’, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
(A GREAT book btw, and I highly recommend it!)
I have a number of close friends with six, seven, eight and nine children who have chosen for the mother to stay at home with the children. No, it’s not easy; they don’t have a lot of material things many people consider necessities today. Yes, they make sacrifices – in a sense, but the sacrifices pale beside what they are gaining in exchange. In virtually every case,
> these families are content and have joy;
> they have a better sense about values and the things that really matter
> they have learned how to pray and depend on God for everything from ‘daily bread’ to college tuition;
> the parents know where their children are and are able to monitor and direct their activities;
> they are actively involved in serving others in practical ways that many families don’t have time (or energy) to do when both parents are working outside the home
My refrigerator serves as a backdrop for photographs of my friends and their families.
I sat back to review some of the highlights these families had experienced over the past year. Eight had been blessed with the birth of a new baby. At least seven had a grandchild born. Seven had a son or daughter get married.
If things aren’t well at home, every other area of life is affected.Nearly all the faces in these photos were smiling. But behind some of the near-perfect poses, I know there is more. Several individuals have confided a burden in relation to the physical or spiritual condition of specific family members. Three have recently buried a member of their immediate family.
I was struck with the wonder and significance of the family – for better or worse. The family is at the heart of what really matters to all of us. If things aren’t well at home, every other area of life is affected.
I looked at those scores of women sitting like mother hens surrounded by their brood of young ones, and I felt an enormous sense of gratitude for the willingness of those women to be givers and nurturers of life.
I can’t turn back time, and the time lost today is lost forever.These women have chosen life by bearing children and they are choosing life everyday …
> with every meal they prepare;
> with every load of dirty clothes they wash;
> with every trip they make to the grocery store, to school, to the dentist, to piano lessons, to soccer practice, or to the shoe store;
> with every scraped knee they bandaged;
> with every encouraging word they speak;
> with every night hour they spend rocking a sick or scared child;
> with every dispute they arbitrate;
> with every moment they spend building Legos, colouring, helping with math problems, reading a Bible story, or listening to a husband or child describe his day;
> with every moment they spend interceding for the spiritual growth and protection of their family.
Day in and day out, they are building a home.
They are being life-givers.
They are laying a foundation and building a memorial that will outlive them for generations to come; they are honouring their Creator in the greatest possible way.
we ARE guiding and training and loving the very souls God has entrusted into our handsNow we all agree, raising children and handling them day in and day out is NOT easy!
The kids won’t appreciate your decision to stay home with them (till perhaps, decades later?)
And gee, it sure can get very draining too!
But, the passage from the book above reminded me (and hopefully you too), that we ARE building a home.
Despite all the challenges, we ARE being life-givers. We ARE laying a foundation.
It’s all a process that will take years (and no, there won’t be all sweet moments).
Now, some of us may wonder:
With this decision to stay home and raise our children fully, won’t our kids surely turn out better than other kids because we spend more time raising and looking after them ourselves everyday?
Well, … of course we couldn’t know for sure.
I mean, it’s not like we’re ‘producing boxed children’ from factories.
I do not wish to look back and regret NOT building a closer relationship with the kids during their super fast growing-up yearsTo me though, there’s this one thing I know for sure, that is … I simply do not wish to look back and regret NOT building a closer relationship with the kids / spending ‘more time’ with them during their super fast growing-up years.
I can’t turn back time, and the time lost today is lost forever.
I simply do not wish to lose the opportunities I have right now, while I still can.
It’s a personal choice, and, although I know I’m far from perfect, I know I’d try my best, while God will do the rest.
May God have mercy on my family and yours, and shower us with the strength and wisdom we parents need everyday.
Have a wonderful week ahead, everyone!