Parenting : Assurance, Acceptance and Love
Just this afternoon, Vai and I were walking hand in hand as we were about to pick Anya up from school.
And I asked him this question :
‘When you scream and cry, and when you’re just behaving really badly … does Mommy love you?’
‘No’, he replied.
I then told him, ‘Mommy will STILL love you very much even though you scream, and cry and behave really badly. But, I will be very sad about your behaviour.’
I then asked him the same question, but this time round it was slightly different,
‘When you scream and cry, and when you’re behaving really badly … does DADDY love you?’
Vai replied, ‘No.’
And I gave him the exact same reply, that is … how Daddy will always love him even though he misbehaves and how Daddy will however be sad about it.
Then I asked him again,
‘When you behave really really badly … does GOD love you?’
And Vai said, “Yes, but God will be sad about it’
I stopped, smiled, gave him a hug and told him how Mommy and Daddy will always love him REGARDLESS of what he does, and we are very sad each time he disobeys or misbehaves. And I told him how God loves him even MORE, and how GOD is even more sad when he misbehaves.
…
I’ve asked Anya those questions since she’s much younger too, but from time to time, I still do ask her and reassure her of our love and acceptance of her. And most importantly, of God’s love and acceptance of her.
And really, I strongly believe that ALL children do need such assurance of acceptance and love too.
And they need to hear it from us and experience the truth of what we’ve said through our daily actions.
You know … that they will always be loved and accepted.
No matter what.
[Photos]
Top : Cottesloe Beach, Perth
Bottom : King’s Park, Perth
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hey wilson, u need to lose that photo bag. Its everywhere!lol
What a nice message & some really beautiful pictures!
stunning pic!!
This is one of the things we’ve told our kids throughout their lives. “There is nothing you can do that can make us not love you!” And we say it firmly with direct eye contact and they know we mean it. We do, however, qualify that with saying that they will still have to deal with the consequences of their actions.
I did not have this “I’ll love you no matter what!” upbringing. I always felt as if love in my home was based on expectations and that I rarely measured up.
So, once again, Leonny, good job. And thank you for sharing this with so many other parents who may not have had this when they were growing up either. I definitely think that assuring our children of our love is a very important part of good parenting. It comes in very handy when they are teens and begin having more freedoms and make many of their own choices.