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Home » Daily, Parenting

Anya : To like or not to like ballet

30 January 20095 Comments

It’s been FIVE months since Anya first started her ballet class.

There were days when she looked forward to her classes. And (of course) there were days too when she told me she ‘didn’t feel like going to ballet’ (more specifically, because she didn’t want to stop playing with her play-doh at the time!)

Kids change their minds about things, easily (read : they can easily give conflicting opinions about something within a short span of time)

And so yes, I do sometimes wonder if Anya really does like ballet.

The other day, as we walked home together from her ballet class, we had this conversation:

Mommy : Anya, today is your last ballet class ya …

Anya : (puzzled) Why won’t there be any more ballet class next week?

Mommy : Oh it’s because you’re already at the end of the term, and if you’d like to continue doing ballet, I would need to register and spend some money to pay for the new class …

Anya : (still puzzled) You have to pay for the class ?

Mommy : Your ballet class is not free. Somebody had to work, spare some money and pay for each of the session you go to so that you can learn ballet.

Anya : (quiet for about 5 seconds, then she looked at me) Mommy, can you please spare some money to pay for my next class then? I like my ballet class and I want to continue, Mommy …

Mommy : … Let’s talk to Daddy later about it, okay … and we’ll then see how it goes …

Even before I had that conversation with Anya, we planned to extend her ballet class in a few days time anyway.

I intentionally started the conversation though, to introduce the concept of ‘someone needing to pay for her classes, etc’. And I intentionally didn’t immediately say ‘yes’ to her request (ie. letting her wait for a decision after a talk with Daddy), so that she went through a ‘waiting period’ as well before she got her answer.

[My belief is that, when one waits for some time to find out if she’s going to get what she requested earlier, it’ll increase the rate of appreciation towards what you finally get. I mean, as compared to always getting things ‘immediately’]

Anyway.

I didn’t quite know how the conversation would go when we first started talking about it. But really, to actually hear it genuinely requested by the child herself (who has started to slowly understand how many many things in life are apparently not free) was … nice.

And yes. It was encouraging too.

At least to her mommy who sends, waits and picks her up from class every time.

5 Comments »

  • Leonny says:

    Siska:

    Ya it’s good to introduce such concepts to our kids since young … As for the approach and how we explain it to them, well … it’s not as easy as it seems ya

    ………………………………………………………………………………..

    Nic :

    ๐Ÿ™‚ this way, I’d also like Anya to see how mommy values her daddy’s opinion and say in decision making …

    ………………………………………………………………………………..

    Claudia:

    hehehe … how’s your ballet btw? may be one day we can all watch your performance yaaa

    ………………………………………………………………………………..

    Gwenneth :

    Hi Gwen .. I think as kids enter Anya’s age, they can already start to understand more and more concepts that we adults introduce to them. But of course, there’s often a big gap between ‘understanding what something means’ and ‘acting according to what we’ve understood’ ๐Ÿ™‚

    There are times when Anya is very understanding, and there are times when she shows how she simply doesn’t want to understand anything because she wants things done her way ๐Ÿ™‚

    Oh well … but then again, even us adults, we struggle too in applying the many concepts we know, don’t we …

  • Gwenneth says:

    Hi Leonny, I thought that was a great approach to teaching Anya how to appreciate what goes into providing her the things she enjoys. How wonderful and heartwarming too that she understood and asked politely for you to extend the classes for her. Will aim to do that too with my kids. Thanks for sharing =)

  • dughhh??? of course she likes ballet!!!!!!! who doesn’t ??? *bias opinion* hehe…

  • Nic says:

    Good tactic! I like that belief of yours!

  • Siska says:

    I agree and I like your approach to introduce the concept of money doesn’t just fall from the sky. I need to follow your approach. JL understands the concept of money needs to be earned but my approach is not as gentle and nicely put as yours.

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