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First Day of School: My School, My Responsibility.

17 July 2017 – 10:56 am |

 
Two days ago Brie asked me,
‘How should I get my bag into the trunk and out of it when we reach school?’
(Her school bag is too heavy for her to lift and place into the …

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Parenting : Watchful of Words We Use to Describe Our Child

7 November 2011 | Posted in: Inspirational, Parenting | 4 Comments

“Oh, she’s very naughty!’

“He’s very shy”

“He’s very bad in chinese. Always very lazy when it comes to doing his homework!”

“Oh, she’s taken swimming lessons, but she’s always scared one!”

How do we generally describe our children?

What words do we tend to use when we describe them to our friends, WHILE they’re near enough to listen to what we say about them?

The reality is, when negative words are used to describe these little ones, they (consciously or unconsciously) will behave according to the label and box that we ourselves have created for them.

For example:

1) Someone gives a birthday gift to a child, and upon receiving, the child does not say anything. No ‘Thank you’, nothing. Parent asks the child, ‘What do you say?’, but the child remains silent. And so two seconds later, the parent says to the gift-giver, ‘Oh, my son is always very shy. Thank you for the present!’

When such a situation arises and the parents takes this approach most of the time (ie. since the time the child is big enough to sort of say ‘Thank you’, or even do a ‘sign’ to say thanks), consciously or unconsciously, the parent is encouraging the child to continue with the ‘shy behaviour’, ie. “If I don’t say anything, my parent will do it on my behalf anyway.”

2) When talking about Chinese lessons with fellow parents, one parent tends to always describe the younger child as being the one who can do Chinese really well, and describe the older child as the one who is weak in Chinese and lazy when doing her Chinese homework.

When such a situation happens (AND the kids get to hear about what’s been said about them too), there are at least two potential impacts :

– The older sibling (who’s weaker in Chinese) may grow to dislike the younger sibling for being better in Chinese and for having been compared often (and described as the ‘weaker’ one) by the parent

– The older sibling – if she’s not the ambitious type who wants to prove people wrong – may choose to conveniently stay ‘lazy’, unwilling to give any extra effort to learn the language, especially ‘since my parent thinks I’m lazy and can’t do Chinese well anyway!’

Well, whether we like it not, there is a strong tendency for children to behave according to how they’re described by their parents.

Now, many may assume that I don’t face this issue as a Mom since I’m writing about this topic, ie. I always know how to control what I say about my kids.

But you know what. I AM prone to making this kind of mistake myself.

(Which actually is the reason why I’m sharing this topic)

As much as I consciously do NOT want to emphasise one kid’s weakness, I sometimes unintentionally talk about their negative side while they may still be able to listen in (only to realise what I have done and how I shouldn’t do it AFTERWARDS)

This is why, I tell myself that I MUST always make a conscious effort to watch what I say about my kids – in front of them – when describing them to others.

(And, when I do share about my parenting struggles with a friend for inputs, eg., I should do it when the kids are NOT around)

The reality is, our kids may not listen to our instructions, but they DO LISTEN to what we say about them.

(Yes, although they may be playing on their own somewhere not too far away)

Somehow, they just like to listen to adults’ conversation, especially when the adults are talking about THEM.

There’s still so much that I need to learn (and change) as a Mom.

I’m still far from the standards that God expects of me.

And so as I go through this learning journey myself, my hope and prayer is that as I share what I observe and learn, these sharings can somehow be helpful and insightful to others too.

Have a wonderful week ahead, everyone!

PS: Here’s a related post that I wrote some two years ago titled Parenting : When Our Reaction Affects Our Child’s Confidence”

Simplicity Parenting: Why Less Is More for Your Kids

4 November 2011 | Posted in: Inspirational, Parenting | 3 Comments

I came across this article the other day and I felt I really should share it here with you.

It has LOTS of good points on how today’s parents NEED to re-examine their parenting style.

Because ultimately, it’s the children who are being greatly affected by our parenting style, ie. What we let them watch and play, what we buy for them, how we discipline their misbehaviours, what information is given to them, how hectic or simple our children’s day to day routine is, etc.

Click HERE to read the article.

And here are some excerpts of the article that I’d like to highlight.

– “Many of today’s behavioral issues come from children having too much stuff and living a life that is too fast”

– “The children in the developing world often have had negative sensory overwhelm, and we give our children sensory overwhelm here — too many trinkets, too many choices, too much information — and this causes a cumulative stress issue in kids”

– Parents [are asked to] see childhood as an unfolding experience, not an enrichment opportunity. “If it is an enrichment opportunity, then we’re in an arms race, trying to get the most for our child. This is fundamentally a con, and not healthy.”

– As you decrease the quantity of your child’s toys and clutter, you increase their attention and their capacity for deep play. Too much stuff leads to too little time and too little depth in the way kids see and explore their worlds.”

We live in an era where everyone is loaded with information. Too much of it.

The problem is, while we adults have the maturity (well, most of us anyway) to discern, discard or ignore whatever information that we feel we should ignore, little ones have yet to have that level of maturity.

They accept whatever we parents give them.

They go with whatever routine that we’ve created for them.

They even demand for things that potentially are not good for them.

Anyway.

Do take a look at the article. And let’s re-examine ourselves, our style of parenting, and our family.

For our children’s sake.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Giveaway : Moon Dough – The One that Never Dries Out!

3 November 2011 | Posted in: Giveaways, Awards & Reviews | 39 Comments


[Kids prepared some breakfast for me – Waffle, Toast and Pancake!]

Today I’d like to share with you a different kind of dough for kids to play with.

It’s called Moon Dough.

And what’s most special about it is that it never dries out!

Click HERE and HERE to read my reviews of Moon Dough on Facebook!

And click HERE to watch what Moon Dough playtime fun is like!

Thanks to Moon Dough, they’re giving away THREE sets to three Our Everyday Things readers!

*YAY. SO happy to be sharing goodies with you all!*

The three cute sets to be won are:

1) Small Theme Pack (worth S$24.90)
2) Large Theme Pack (worth S$34.90)
3) Magic Barnyard (worth S$49.90)


[Checking out the ‘Grocery’ Moon Dough set! Vai was ‘creating’ coins here!]

Here’s how to join the Giveaway :

1) ‘LIKE’ the Our Everyday Things Facebook Page, if you haven’t already =)

http://www.facebook.com/oureverydaythings

2) SHARE this giveaway on your Facebook, Twitter or via email to friends

3) Leave a comment (here on this blog post) and share with us :

Your preferred choice (and why) if you’re to win one of the sets under ‘Small Theme Pack’ category and ‘Large Theme Pack’ category. Click on the image below to see the enlarged version!

(Maximum of two entries per family please)

Giveaway contest ends Monday, 7 November 2011, 11.59pm (Singapore time)

Three winners will be announced the next very next day on this blog post, chosen by random number generator.

Open to those with Singapore local addresses.

Moon Dough is available in most major toy stores!

AND.

If you’d like to grab some Moon Dough as gifts, Moon Dough is giving everyone a $5 OFF coupon to buy Magic Barnyard at Isetan stores! Just write in to me (leonny{at]oureverydaythings[dot]com) to get your coupon!

Anyway!

Have fun with your little ones!

Have fun with this giveaway!

[added: 9 Nov 2011]

Thank you everyone for participating! As always, I REALLY wish I could give everyone who participated this good stuff! But, there could only be 3 winners here …

So after some random selection, here are the three winners!!

1) Henny Lee – – Breakfast Set

2) Hanny — Grocery Set

3) CT Chooi — Magic Barnyard

Congratulations to all three winners!

Please email me within 48 hours to let me know your mailing address yeah!
Hope your families enjoy your Moon Dough sets!!

[To everyone: If you’d like to have your $5 OFF coupon, to buy Magic Barnyard at Isetan Stores, just email me!]

PS: There are more giveaways in store for everyone, EVERY WEEK in the coming weeks! Join in again yeah!

[12 Nov 2011]

As one winner did not claim the prize within 48 hours, another winner has been randomly selected, and the winner is : Jane!

Congrats Jane! You’ve won yourself a Breakfast Set! Please email me with your address in 48 hours to claim the prize! =)

Sharing Goodness with Those around Us

3 July 2015 | Posted in: Advertorial, Food & Health, Parenting, Video | No Comment

 
In our family, one of the things that we instill in our children since young is the importance of appreciating others, regardless of their religion, race, social or economic background.
Like, when we teach our children …

First Day of School: My School, My Responsibility.

17 July 2017 | Posted in: Parenting | No Comment

 
Two days ago Brie asked me,
‘How should I get my bag into the trunk and out of it when we reach school?’
(Her school bag is too heavy for her to lift and place into the …

Parenting : Encouraging Helpfulness, Instilling Independence, Building Self-Esteem

11 September 2014 | Posted in: Inspirational, Parenting | 2 Comments

 
Brie is now 3 years and 3 months old.
And for the past few months, she’s been an active helper whenever we are at a restaurant or a supermarket =)
“She’s still so small, what does she …

Thoughts : Mothers and Wives – Privileged or Victimised

11 October 2007 | Posted in: Inspirational, Marriage & Relationships, Parenting | 2 Comments
Thoughts : Mothers and Wives – Privileged or Victimised

Some food for thought I’d like to share. From today’s Women’s Fellowship.
When we know the ‘price we need to pay’ for doing something and yet we still are willing to do it, it’s called ‘sacrifice’.
On …

One Special Day: Thoughts on Turning 40

28 June 2016 | Posted in: Daily, Inspirational, Marriage & Relationships | 6 Comments

 
So THE day has arrived.
I am now officially, 40.
If you’re well over 40, you’d probably roll your eyes and say, ‘Bleh. You’re STILL 40! You’re young!’
(My 91yo grandma said I’m soooo very young! Hehe)
If you’re under …

The facts of being married

26 February 2005 | Posted in: Marriage & Relationships | No Comment

This was Wilson’s conversation with the guy who cut his hair the other day:
Guy: Oh, so you’re married already? *really suprised* You would’nt have done it so early if you had the choice, would you?
Wilson: …