Do You Decide What Your Children Get to Wear?
Someone ever asked, ‘Do you decide what your children get to wear?’
The answer is yes, when they are babies and toddlers =)
When our child was older than 1.5yo, I did sometimes ask ‘Do you want to wear this or that?’, giving them only TWO options to choose from.
An open question like, ‘What would you like to wear?’ would often invite unnecessary tantrums and arguments because the child is overwhelmed by the many different options.
Giving them only 2 options to choose from is better because it allows them to exercise more independence in making decisions and yet still within our guidance as we’d know better what to wear for specific occasions.
(Total ‘freedom to choose’ given to a 2yo on what to wear would potentially mean the child picking beach-wear to a wedding dinner, eg. And I can envision the crying and screaming when we say no to their choice of clothes)
As our kids get bigger (older than 4yo), I started to allow them to decide what to wear AFTER they first check with us:
– where we’re going
– is it casual wear or more formal wear, etc.
After asking those questions, Brie for example would then pick her own clothes and ask if the ones she has chosen are appropriate. If I see them as not suitable for the occasion, I’d explain why, and she’d then go and find another set of clothes to wear (sometimes she asks me to recommend what to wear)
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This is still the case for Brie and the other 2 kid today. I’d share with them where we’re going, and they’d go ahead and pick their own clothes. If we strongly feel it’s not appropriate for the occasion, we’d tell them and they’d get changed.
Over time they all get the idea and learn what is okay and what is not … 😁
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Our hope is for our kids to learn and understand too, that sometimes when there are dress codes to certain occasions, we need to observe them (eg. No casual shorts and wear proper shoes when going to funerals or church, etc).
Just a little sharing on how things work in our family =)
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!
