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Thoughts: Parents and Authority

28 October 2017 – 10:55 am | One Comment

‘Gee, I can’t talk to my kids! They simply don’t listen to me!’
‘They just don’t obey me!’
‘I can’t get through to my kids.’

Here’s one common issue parents face today , that is: the LACK of …

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Home » Inspirational, Parenting

We Should NOT Send our Children to Primary One Because of These Reasons

15 October 2017No Comment

Here is one sad reality:
Our society generally sees childhood as a RACE against time.

‘What do you mean?’, some asked.

Well, let’s see.

Have you ever heard of someone saying, ‘The sooner your child enters school the better!’

And, if a child can finish primary 6 at the age of 10, it’s a big WOW filled with praises. She’s a genius, they’d say! How I wish my kids are as smart (perhaps silently uttered in the parents’ minds)

If someone’s 2yo can read and write, other moms would wish their kids can do the sameIf someone’s 2yo can read and write, other moms would wish their kids can do the same.

Some grandparents would even encourage the parents to send the 2yo grandchild to reading lessons just so that he can be ‘smart’, like ‘THAT boy who can read at 2yo’.

It is a RACE for these little humans, literally.

Each case is different and it depends on the child’s readiness and maturity, too

The reality is, every child is unique.

No two children are the same.

When it comes to SCHOOL matters for example, I truly believe NOT every child is ‘ready’ to enter primary one at the age of 6yo (ie. Child turns 6yo when he is in primary one, which means he could be sent to primary one at the age of 5.5 yo)

It all depends on the child’s readiness and maturity, too.

Some 6yo children find it hard to sit and listen for 10 minutes, let alone listen to a teacher telling him stuff from the front of the class for a good 5 hours every weekday!

Some 6yo children find it hard to sit and listen for 10 minutesSome 5.5yo children still struggle with reading, writing and counting.

To me personally, IF a child needs to delay entering Primary School by one year, just so that he’d be a year older and more ready to learn in a classroom environment, … then it is absolutely OK (yes, even if others disagree with you).

Parents need to be the ones who work out what’s best for each child whom God has entrusted into their loving care.

The emphasis here is: we must work out what is best FOR THE CHILD.

Really.

We should NOT send our children to primary one because of these reasons:

– Just so that other people (neighbours, friends, grandparents, in-laws, etc) will NOT talk badly about our family.

ie. We want to make sure that we do things ‘according’ to other people’s standards and expectations.

I know this doesn’t sound nice, but it’s the harsh reality to many families, and the children sadly become the ‘victims’ who bear the consequences of  decisions made by the adults around them =\

– Neighbours’ or friends’ kids (similar age to our kid’s) have started going to primary one, so by right, my kid also must enter primary one. Errr, right?

– So our child could finish school at a younger age, start work at a younger age, be independent and be successful at a young age

Children can always take extra lessons and tuitions to cope with schoolEg. Some children are sent to enter primary one at the age of 5 years and 2 months. This means, she’d be 6yo at the end of primary one. They are very playful, haven’t learned how to put their clothes on by themselves, can’t listen or concentrate for more than 15 minutes.

In such cases, many parents feel everything is fine because their children can always take extra lessons and tuitions to cope with school.

The above are only three possible reasons parents may have when they send their children to primary one.

I’m sure there are a lot more reasons out there.

Again, as I always say, every family is unique, and so is every child.

The parents should be the ones who sincerely ask themselves these questions: 

WHEN is it best for my child to enter primary one?

Am I making decisions based on what is truly good for the child, or based on what is good for me, my convenience, my preferences?


 

 

Am I making decisions based on what is good for the child, or based on what is good for me?For our family, we have chosen to NOT rush our kids when it comes to starting primary one.

We believe: the more ready a child is when he enters Primary One, the better he would cope with the demands of school work / responsibilities, etc.

Because to us, it is important for the child to know what’s going on at school. To learn and pack his own school bag for the next day. To know why he’s studying and why it is important to be responsible in their learning journey.

And, to not rely on tuitions to cope with school (because we don’t send them to any, well … perhaps for learning Mandarin one day, because we are hopeless at it =).

‘But but … what if your child is slightly older than his classmates? Can they still play along?’, some asked.

YES, they are fine.

What if your child is slightly older than his classmates? Can they still play along?
Some children are naturally more mature, and more responsible than others. They simply need to learn to cope with different kinds of characters, attitudes, friends that they meet at school.

(Kind of like our real life too, isn’t it? We have to deal with different kinds of colleagues in our office and work with them, too)

Anyway.

Food for thought.

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