Parenting : “So, You’re a Full-time Mom?”
If you’ve made a choice to be a full-time Mom, I’m sure you’ve encountered ‘interesting phrases’ from friends or families who ‘question’ and ‘comment’ on your decision, no?
Let’s see if any of the ones below sound ‘familiar’ to you:
‘Whoa! You stay home all day ah? I sure cannot tahan one!’
‘So what do you do all day? Must be so free ah everyday?’
‘You should hire a helper, then you can go back to work and earn more money!’
‘Tsk. Your parents paid so much for your education, and you ONLY become a fulltime mom in the end. What a waste …’
‘So you don’t work at all? Whoa, I cannot afford a good life like you. My husband doesn’t earn as much as yours’
Childhood will pass sooner than we thinkI’ve personally heard some of those above, and I thought today I should share SOME of my reasons for choosing to be a full-time mom.
>> I CHOOSE to be a full-time Mom, because my husband and I believe in these:
a) Children are treasures entrusted to US, so it is our calling to be involved parents in raising and teaching them
b) I am a degree holder and with me being a fulltime mom, my children actually get taught and educated by a degree holder, not by someone who came from the village, whose education level, background and upbringing we’re not even familiar with.
c) Childhood will pass sooner than we think. If we want to build on strong relationships with our children based on love, trust and respect, it must start from day 1, NOT when they’re much older.
d) HOME is the best place to start instilling values and principles in children (morally, spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, and everything else). And the responsibility is in the hands of the parents.
e) Giving the children our ‘time’ is better than ‘presents’ (though naturally, they’d LOVE presents, and most likely won’t appreciate what we do anyway, till … decades later, I guess?)
>> Although money is needed for us to cover our day to day expenses, money is NOT everything. I’m not interested in earning lots of money at the expense of losing my time with my children, especially during their growing up years.
(This basically means, the majority of full-time moms, including myself, most likely need to watch their expenses, juggle, and often, put off / not buy whatever they want. Well, unless the husbands are doing very well financially)
A helper is great to have, but a helper is definitely not to replace our responsibility in raising the children.>> A helper is great to have, but a helper is definitely not to replace our responsibility in raising the children. For our case, we choose to engage a part-time helper who comes for 2-3 hours, 3 times a week.
(For my case, I’m now a full-time mom AND am working too. The flexible working hours allow me to still be with my family, while juggling work and everything else. I love what I do, but realistically, … this also means sleeping less hours each day, ie. I clear most of my work when everybody is asleep. And it’s not easy.)
Fulltime moms’ lives are not as simple and easy as some people think Now, having said that, I realise how every family is different, and everyone of us has unique family situations.
I guess, with this post I just want to emphasise on this: Fulltime moms’ lives are not as simple and easy as some people think.
And I strongly hope the society in general learns to respect full-time moms’ decisions (to be full-time parents), and appreciate the importance of their role in raising the next generation.
Because, the best things in life often can’t be measured by dollars and cents.
To all full-time mommies, JIA YO!
May God give us the wisdom, strength and joy everyday.
Have you encountered similar comments? What are YOUR reasons / thoughts on becoming a full-time mom?