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Home » Inspirational, Marriage & Relationships

Marriage : Reasons Why Couples Connect Less With Each Other

14 February 20132 Comments

This year, my hubby and I would mark our 12th wedding anniversary.

And you know what they say, … the longer you’re married, the less ‘connected’ you both most likely are?

You think?

Well, these are the few good, possible reasons: 

1. You both are busy with small children (and housework?) and there’ll be so little time to spend with each other (to connect, to be intimate, etc). You’re just too exhausted at the end of the day to spend any couple-time and do anything together.

You’re just too exhausted at the end of the day to spend any couple-time and do anything together.

2. Husbands are usually busy with building their career or business, and this naturally leads to them having less time spent with the wives.

3. Even when they are together, they probably are talking about the kids (problems at school, misbehaviours that took place earlier that day, etc), leaving even less time to connect with each other as ‘couples’.

4. Even when they’re together and they are NOT talking about the kids, they probably are busy with gadgets in their hands, eg. Mobile phones, ipads, the computer, etc, which leads to little connection and communication between the two.

5. They increasingly get so used to one another that they forget to show their appreciation and love for the *sweet* little things they see in their spouse.

There are many more that can always be added to the list, but I think I’ll stop there.

Enough points for us to reflect and ponder upon, no?

Even when they are together, they probably are talking about the kids

So, is it possible to be married for more than a decade, have kids, pursue own passion, build a career or business, and STILL enjoy each other’s company?

Well, … YES, I think it IS possible.

But.

NOT without both parties’ hard work, effort and commitment though.

Marriage is not a fairytale.

(So many movies and even cartoons are so deceptive, they don’t portray the reality of marriage life. The movie ‘UP’, however, is awesome!)

Marriage is not just about love, love and love.

Marriage is not just about love, love and love.

Honeymoon days will be over, wedding photos will be stored away, and love can slowly fade away too, BUT when there’s a strong commitment between the two, when both parties share the same faith, loving and fearing God, … love can always be re-ignited, and marriage can be built – even stronger – over time.

Not easy.

But definitely do-able.

Any thoughts?

2 Comments »

  • Franky says:

    Dear Jie Leonny, thanks for the sharing… as a single 22-years old boy/man (and hopefully, if God will, will be in a relationship soon), I am encouraged once again to have faith in God when I am preparing myself to take up the role of husband in the future….

    I came across this good article which may be an encouragement for you and Ko Wilson: http://theresurgence.com/2011/07/28/marriage-the-happy-holy-beautiful-mess . To quote from the article:”There’s a whole lot of happiness to be had in marriage. But God-wrought holiness does not always come easily or feel happy—at times, it feels more like a mess. But it is beautiful. Not because it’s about your story or mine, but because it’s about God’s.”

    Happy Valentine day to both of you, may God bless you in all circumstances, with His mercy, grace, and guidance. Amen.

  • Samantha says:

    This is so true. I am feeling the same as you write now.

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