Parenting : The Journey has Its Downs Too
We always hear about how parenting is full of joy and happiness.
How children are a bundle of joy.
How life with children is beautiful.
(I mean, that’s what I’ve always hoped to share with readers too through my blog all these years)
BUT.
Talk backs. Rudeness. Indifference. Rolling of eyes. Ignorance. Intentional disobedience. Total unappreciation.
Today I’d like to also share how life with children is not only full of ups.
It also has its downs.
One thing that I’ve been feeling a lot lately, for example, is that … our children may not always be loving towards us.
There are times (sometimes they happen frequently too, depending on their age and developmental phase) when they are not at their ‘better’ behaviour towards us.
Talk backs. Rudeness. Indifference. Rolling of eyes. Ignorance. Intentional disobedience. Total unappreciation.
It can be draining, mentally and emotionally.
…
Being a fulltime mom of three, I personally feel one of the tough things about being a parent is, … learning to be :
… COOL-HEADED and PATIENT (not easily angered or emotional, and think things through before reacting to challenging situations)
… JUST and WISE (knowing how to best address different tough situations presented by different kids, knowing when and how much ‘disciplinary actions’ that’re to be given to every child who’s misbehaved / rude / disrespectful, because every child is unique and we can’t treat them all ‘exactly the same’)
… LOVING (ie. Still showing love towards the child even when he/she probably hasn’t shown the ‘expected’ love / respect towards us earlier)
…
When things do get very tough with the kids, there are times when I do feel like giving up.
When things do get very tough with the kids, there are times when I do feel like giving up.
When I look at my older kids’ behaviours, there are times when I feel mad, sad and plain discouraged, because I feel like I’ve somehow failed in teaching them anything right or good.
…
Having said that, so am I saying that life with children is therefore not beautiful then?
Actually, no.
To me, life with children IS beautiful, regardless.
Because children and their attitudes (good or bad) allow us to learn to be a better person.
They remind us how we’re often more clueless than we thought.
Our children may drive us mad and sad, but when that happens, isn’t that when we’re called to learn how to overcome each and every challenge, one step at a time too?
Plus, children are children, and WE are the adults. They are growing up and their negative attitudes are often short-lived (though it often recur!)
(Btw, I can write all this because the episodes are over for the day, and the kids are all in bed. Which means I have some time to be alone, to think things through, and to reflect)
…
Here’s one more thing that I’d like to share :
If I could appreciate life with children, if I could sail through tough parenting challenges, it’s only because God gave me the needed strength and mercy.
I learn to depend not on myself, but upon God’s help. Because really, I could never do it all on my own.
So, am I saying that life with children is therefore not beautiful then? Actually, no.
Whenever I feel like breaking down completely, HE’d lift me up and encourage me. And encouragements may come from a verse, a friend, a song, or even the kids themselves who suddenly become ‘better’ the very next day.
…
Anyway.
These past few days, I’m learning a lot.
Just like when we went hiking the other weekend (top photo), I’m learning to keep on going too, even when the going gets tough and the minutes and hours in a particular day seem very long.
May God help me, and every parent out there who may be struggling too.
Every single day.
