Parenting : Encouraging Kids to Help Out around the House (Part 2)
[Other than brushing his own teeth most of the time, Vai also brings dirty clothes from the bathroom to the laundry]
Okay, finally, I managed to complete the second part of my blog post.
[Click HERE to read Part 1 of my earlier post : ‘Encouraging Kids to Help Out around the House’]
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As promised, here are some quick tips that I’d like to share on how we can encourage our kids to help out around the house :
> Begin early.
I believe teaching our kids about helping out around the house should start as early as possible (eg. from the simplest things, like joining us in putting their lego bricks back into the box after play could start as early as one year old). And, if you have one simple song that you sing along together every time you both tidy up the toys, it’ll even be better. It makes the routine more fun.
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> Always try to say positive words to further encourage your child.
This helps in building their sense of responsibility and encourages them further in becoming a helpful member of the family.
[Btw, sometime ago I wrote a post on ‘HOW we utter our words of encouragement’. Click HERE to read it yeah]
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> Make sure WE do our chores too.
If our kids see us clean up the house or do all sorts of housework as well, they’ll be more keen to help out and do them too. After all, it’s always better if we set the example for the little ones and walk our talk too.
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> Be specific in our instructions, and demonstrate.
This is especially necessary if the child is still young (eg. 2 years old).
Instead of saying, ‘Tidy up your toys, please’, I learn that kids will understand our instruction better when we tell them exactly what we ask them to do, eg. ‘Please pick up your crayons and books, and place them back into the box.’
For younger children, it works best if we do it together with them.
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[One of Anya’s responsibility at home is ensuring that the ‘shoe area’ is neat and tidy]
Oh btw, I feel I should share this one last thing.
In my personal opinion, I don’t think giving our children money for helping out around the house will do any good in the long run. I know some ‘experts’ do recommend such an approach, eg. ‘I’ll give you 20 cents each time you take out the trash’, or ‘If you keep your bedroom nice and tidy for one whole week, you’ll get $3 at the end of that week.’
I know I’m no parenting expert. I still have SO many things that I have yet to learn (and change).
But.
I strongly believe that when we use the approach of rewarding our children with money (however little) when they help out around the house:
… We are NOT teaching the child to look out for the interests of others, ie. The child does NOT learn what it means to be responsible, eg. To care for the neatness in one’s room.
… We are ‘training’ our child to be ‘greedy’, to look out for self interest and to simply obtain monetary rewards in what he/she does.
… We are teaching our child to do things with improper motives, ie. If there’s a reward, I’ll do it. If there’s none, I’m not interested.
Really. Should a child be rewarded for fulfilling NORMAL responsibilities? ie. Tasks that a child ought to do / contribute as part of his responsibility, and as part of being a helpful and caring member of the family?
Anyway.
I’m sure there are HEAPS more tips out there, and if you can share your tips or thoughts on this, it’ll be awesome! I’d love to learn from you too!
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[Parts of this post is inspired by the book ‘Shepherding a Child’s Heart’ by Tedd Tripp. An excellent book btw, which has changed and influenced many of my thinking and approaches towards parenting my children. This book constantly reminds me too of how I’m so in need of God’s grace and wisdom to be a parent, because I’m still SO far from being the kind of parent God wants me to be]
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Hello Xin,
Dulu aku pernah baca di satu buku dan aku ingetin prinsipnya karena memang baik utk di aplikasi.
Salah satu tips yang di sharingkan buku tsb itu adl;
Kalau kita memberikan satu ‘tanggung jawab’ ke anak, jangan selalu kita ikut ‘membenarkan’ / ‘memperbaiki’ apa yang telah dilakukan si anak.
Contoh:
Kita beri anak kesempatan / tanggung jawab utk membereskan tempat tidurnya sendiri. Lalu setelah dia sudah bereskan ranjang, 1 menit kemudian kita rapihkan ulang ranjangnya.
Kalau kita lakukan hal ini, impresi / pengertian yg di tangkap anak adl : apa yang saya kerjakan tidak ‘cukup’ baik menurut standard mama. Dan kalau kita sering lakukan hal ini (jg dlm hal lain2nya), pikiran anak ttg kita yg melihat dia ‘kurang capable’ utk ‘carry out the responsibility’ itu makin strong. Lama-lama, dia juga bisa berpikir, ah biar aja nanti mama juga beresin lagi, …. ngapain saya mesti cape2 coba beresin.
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Setelah baca bagian itu, saya sendiri diingetin byk hal, ie. supaya saya TIDAK spt itu, karena sbg ortu, tentu kita bisa kerjakan ini itu dengan ‘lebih baik’ dibanding anak yang masih belajar.
Jadi ya, utk kasih tanggung jawab (eg. biar dia beresin sepatu), memang kita perlu ‘tutup sebelah mata’, dan biarkan dia coba lakukan bagian dia. Se’kotor2nya’ dia setelah rapihkan rak sepatu, toh tidak sebegitu kotornya sampai dia ‘infeksi’? 🙂
Atau ttg hal sikat gigi, kalau dia memang masih belajar sikat sendiri, kita bisa contoh dulu (dengan pegang tgn dia, misalnya), dan bantu dia gosok gigi bagian atas misalnya, lalu membiarkan dia utk menggosok bagian bawahnya sendiri tanpa bantuan kita. Dan lama2, dia gosok sendiri giginya pas pagi hari (tp malam hari masih kita yg gosok, kalau2 takut dia krg bersih misalnya). Dan lama2, baru dia gosok gigisendiri utk pagi dan malam (ie. gradually kasih dia tg jwb itu)
Ya krg lebih segitu sih yg aku bisa share ya … Semoga nolong yah …. 🙂
when i folded the cleaned cloths, they will help to keep their own. when i wipe the windows / cabinets or anything else, they will clean their toys. i pack the old newspaper, they pack their books. we do together. they might had stuff their cloths or stacked the books in a messy way i i don re arranged in front of them. i believe habbits start young. they can do it. little at a time…
Jie, anak saya juga mulai belajar sikat gigi sendiri, tapi kok rasanya saya ga percaya kalau dia bisa menyikat dengan bersih, jadi selalu saya bantu begitu juga kalo merapikan sandal, saya ‘takut’ dia jadi kotor, dsb. Bagaimana ya jie biar kita yakin kalau anak kita benar2 bisa?