We all know that parenting is a journey.

There are ups and there are downs.

As much as we don’t quite look forward to the challenging ‘down’ moments of being a parent, the reality is it’s part and parcel of being a parent.

And I recently was reminded again that what’s more important is ‘how we respond’ when we go through those tough moments in life.

Last week, right after I started taking my antibiotics (read: Sunday night) for my Tonsillitis, things felt like they went from bad to worse.

I couldn’t take one little sip of water without struggling to fight the stabbing pain on my throat.

I paused, cringed from the stinging pain, and shivered to the point of crying when I tried to munch a little piece of vegie (that happened to have some oyster sauce on it).

I could hardly ate anything from Monday to Wednesday.

AND, I could NOT talk nor whisper (because I’d feel as if thousands of needles were jabbed onto my throat).

Now that’s the MOST challenging thing to me.

I NEED to be able to talk in order to ‘communicate’ with my kids. To get through the day.
(well, unless you’ve been communicating with sign language since day one with your children of course)

Anya, let’s brush your teeth.
Vai, please come over and have your breakfast.
Anya, please finish up your milk quickly or we’d miss the school bus.
Vai, stop banging on the glass table.

And gee, it was so tough!

Especially when one night (when Wilson’s not home), the kids chose to ignore my requests, talk back rudely, and LAUGH upon seeing me cry at the dining table from trying to bear the overwhelming pain of swallowing my dinner.

At that moment, I really felt incapable. Helpless. Discouraged.

Right after I whispered to Anya how I felt sad and disappointed about the attitudes they’ve been giving me that evening, I went to my bedroom and just IGNORED EVERYTHING. Including my kids’ pleas and requests. Even Anya’s (perhaps regretful) cries as she lied in bed next to me.

I think it was one of those really low points in my parenting journey.

[Thank God Wilson came home within about twenty minutes after that and took over everything. I so needed that!]

…

Now that I look back to what’s happened last week, I’d like to share these few things I learned:

- Kids are kids (and sinners too) and they’re learning.
If they say or do hurtful and insensitive things, they might’ve done it unintentionally. We are the adults and we shouldn’t ‘regard’ what our kids do to us too seriously (though it sure hurts our feelings)

- God never leaves us to fight alone.
We can always pray and ask for strength. There’s always hope at the end of all struggles. Just like how there’ll be clear skies after the rain. And you know what, that was what kept me going, ie. knowing that my struggles won’t last forever (though it might feel like forever at the time!)

Also, I learned how it was when we’re down that we got to see how other people help, encourage and support. And I’m so thankful to God for all that.

- We are never capable of doing anything unless God gives you the strength and capability.
The ability to swallow, eat and talk is all taken for granted by most of us. Including me. We just do it every time, and we don’t think about it much.

It’s when the ease or capability of doing such simple tasks is ‘taken away for a little while’ that we realise how incapable we basically are. And how we get to appreciate it a lot when we gain it back AFTERWARDS.

I guess the same thing applies to everything else in life.

We so often take things for granted (and fail to appreciate them) when we still have them. And boy, how wonderful it is if we all can learn to remember to always appreciate what we have today.

Our health. Our faith. Our family. Our spouse. Our kids. Our work.

Everything.

I’m learning.

Learning to go through the downs in life with the right response and attitude and treasure every single thing that happens in life. Both the ups and the downs.

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As I watch them walk hand in hand,
I am again reminded,
how little boys treasure their Daddy so much.

They observe.
They copy.

They want to be just like Daddy.
They want to be just with Daddy.

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For Vai’s birthday, we had a simple get-together right after his Sunday School the other weekend.

We wanted to keep it nice and simple, but at the same time we wanted to still have something special for our little guy.

Now you see, Vai is really into cars (and motor bikes and aeroplanes and …). But recently, he’s more specifically into this red-coloured racing car - Lightning Mcqueen - from the animation movie ‘Cars’ by Pixar.

He doesn’t have any yet, and so we thought of giving one to him on his birthday.

But giving it straight to him as a birthday present would just be too … plain?

And so Wilson and I came up with this idea.

We ordered a 2kg birthday cake (one tier and square-shaped), and we asked the cake people NOT to do anything to the top flat part of the cake. This way, we got what looked more like a ‘white canvas’ (they placed the fresh fruits, meant to be on the cake, in a separate container)

And when the cake came, Wilson and I quickly ‘decorated’ it ourselves!

We’ve prepared what we needed.

Milo. Fruit loops. Crushed wholegrain cereals. Cars. Plastic road signs. M&M’s. Everything.

And we created a ’scene’ where Lightning Mcqueen was getting chased by Sheriff on hard gravels by the desert! Hehe.

Vai’s birthday cake would’ve looked a whole lot ‘nicer’ if we had a ‘professional’ from the cake shop to do the job. That’s for sure.

But I totally LOVED what we both created for Vai.

Imperfect. Yet specially made. With lots of love.

…

And Vai … ah, you should’ve seen the huge smile and excitement upon seeing his cake with Lightning Mcqueen on it!

We love you, Vai.

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Here’s a quick update from us.

The kids are down with tonsillitis. And I got it too since some two days ago.

And this is how it all started.

Just two days before his birthday, Vai was down with a high fever. There’s no cough, no runny nose, no red dots on his palms or feet, no nothing. Just fever. And so we thought it’s kind of normal and we just gave him some paracetamol.

And on his birthday he told me of the pain whenever he swallowed.  And so I used a flashlight and checked his throat. AND, I saw little red dots on the back of his throat AND white dots (ulcer-like) on his tonsils!

Gee, no wonder he’s lost his appetite! It’s so much harder to get him to eat or drink too (read: he could take one little sip and cry)

We immediately went to see a doctor, and we were told that our little guy had tonsillitis (or ‘Strep Throat‘).

Here’s a quick definition, from drgreene.com, of what Tonsillitis is:

Tonsillitis is the name given to swollen, red, and tender tonsils. This is usually caused by an infection of the tonsils. Bacterial infections are important causes of tonsillitis, even though they are less common. Streptococcus is the most common type of bacteria involved.

Btw, this condition is also known as Strep Throat.

Here’s more info from kidshealth.org on what Strep Throat is :

Not all sore throats are strep throats. Most episodes of sore throat — which can be accompanied by a runny nose, cough, hoarseness, and red eyes — are caused by viruses and usually clear up on their own without medical treatment.

A child with strep throat will start to develop other symptoms within about 3 days, such as:

- red and white patches in the throat
- difficulty swallowing
- tender or swollen glands (lymph nodes) in the neck
- red and enlarged tonsils
- headache
- lower stomach pain
- fever
- general discomfort, uneasiness, or ill feeling
- loss of appetite and nausea
- rash

Anyway.

We went home with some antibiotics (’Augmentin‘).

The next day, Vai’s fever was completely gone (it lasted for 2-3 days only), but Anya was down with fever in the evening.

I checked her throat and yup, it’s all inflammed and I could also see tiny red dots above the tonsils and little white dots on the tonsils area.

And to top it all of, I was down with high fever too the next day.

Headache. Joint pains. Body aches. Lack of appetite. Pain when swallowing (pretty much all the symptoms listed above!)

Somehow I don’t think my two kids go through as many ’symptoms’ as I do (could it be because the impact of tonsillitis is worse on adults?). Whatever it is, now I totally know how my two kids feel when they swallow anything!

…

One thing I notice is that we all got the high fever in the beginning. And the fever goes away in 2-3 days (the worst is on the 2nd day).

Not sure when the ‘ulcers’ will completely be healed though. Because really, as long as they’re still there, swallowing is just so painful (since we have to drink lots and lots of fluid at the same time, having it cool or cold really helps!)

Anyway, Wilson is spared from the bacterial infections so far. Thank God.

And I’m thankful too that he’s been taking care of things when I myself can’t do anything much around the house (cooking, dish washing, grocery, playing with the kids, bathing them, getting them to bed, etc).

Such a support is even more treasured in times of need.

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Oh yay, I am THREE!
Another great reason to happily shout, ‘WHOOPEE!’
And be thankful for everything God’s given to me.

But since two days ago I was down with fever,
though today I sure am feeling better.

Still later we’re going to see a doctor,
to find more about these dots in my throat called ‘ulcer’.

But hey THANKS so much for all the wishes and prayer,
for showing to me and my family how much you care.

PS:
The one on the wall was watercoloured by me,
and the one in my hands was done by my mommy!

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When it comes to activities like watercolour, it sure is better when I have company.

The beauty of having a sibling.

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The Bible, in John 3, wrote about the time when an old man named Nicodemus came at night time to speak with Jesus.

And one thing that’s really interesting is, the old man (presumably in his 60s) called Jesus (who’s about half his age), ‘Rabbi’ (in another word, ‘Teacher’)

Nicodemus was at least twice Jesus’ age, but he respected and admired him.

Nicodemus was a much older leader and a spiritual teacher himself, but he regarded himself as a ‘pupil’ in front of Jesus. A student who was ready to learn and listen.

It is EASY (or at least ‘easier’) for someone who’s still YOUNG to be humble. Because in reality, when compared to someone who’s much much older, the younger ones still have so much to know and learn.

However, it is much HARDER for someone who’s OLD in age to be humble. ESPECIALLY towards someone else who’s much younger.

It is more common to see an older person talk (or ‘boast’) about his ‘experiences’, because the reality is, the older a person, the more things he has experienced.

And so when Nicodemus genuinely referred to a much younger Jesus as his ‘Teacher’, he was in fact very humble.

He didn’t see his age gap (and the fact that he’s much older) as a problem that hindered his search for the truth.

Nicodemus humbly asked questions, he listened, and he learned.

…

Do we find it hard to be humble?
Do we share our experiences with others with humility, or do we brag about them and look down on others?
Do we continually search for the truth, for what is right and for things that have eternal values?

Or do we let age gaps obstruct our own learning journey?

[Adopted from today's sermon, delivered by Rev. Stephen Tong]

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Anya and Vai were both born in Singapore. They’re still Indonesian citizens, they visit Jakarta about once a year, but they practically live here.

We’ve started introducing Indonesian national songs to Anya and Vai (like, Indonesia Raya, its National Anthem) but having lived here and watched Singapore National Day Parades LIVE year after year, they sure are more familiar with Singapore and its national day celebrations.

And this year, I’m again amazed at how schools here in general endorse strong patriotism among the children.

I went to see Anya’s National Day Celebration at school some two weeks ago, and wow, … dressed in red and white they enthusiastically sang national day theme songs (in English and Mandarin!), vigorously waved their flags, and cited the National Pledge.

They were even introduced to the names of the Singapore President and Prime Minister (with photos too!).

Oh, there’s this one amusing part when the teacher - AFTER telling the kindergarten kids that the Prime Minister’s name is Lee Hsien Loong - asked the kids again, ‘What’s the NAME of the Prime Minister?’

And in loud unison they all replied, ‘PRIIIIMMMEEE MINISTERRRRRR …’ hehe.

Anyway, I managed to upload a video clip of Anya (and Vai) singing ‘Count on Me Singapore’ (Singapore’s National Day Parade theme song in 1986)

Click HERE to watch it on youtube.

Enjoy …

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Anya is now in Kindergarten (K1), and Vai will start going to nursery school (N2) in January next year.

[Fyi, here in Singapore at four years of age, children can attend N2; at five years old, it'd be K1; at six years old, it'd be K2; and after that they'd be going to Primary School]

And when Anya’s at school, I have a total of 4 hours (inclusive of her school bus trip) to spend with Vai. Just the two of us.

The thing is, and I don’t know if any other stay at home moms out there feel the same way, while I personally enjoy having Vai to myself, I often find it tough juggling so many other responsibilities at the same time.

At the back of my mind, I know I need (and want) to just play, chat and spend those four hours totally with him. Especially since he’s starting nursery next year (read : no more of those hours spent alone with Vai).

But at the same time I have errands, work, deadlines, house chores, meal preparations, and so many other things to complete, and I try to do as many as things as possible during those four hours before Anya comes back home from school (to lessen the workload that needs to be done when they’re napping or are in bed at night).

And I often find myself being AT HOME, but not really spending ‘quality time’ with my little Vai. Well, at least not in the way I want it to be.

[When I catch up with work, usually for an hour or so after Anya leaves for school, Vai would play by himself - often by my side - or watch a DVD, eg. The Wiggles, for about 30 mins or so]

And I can’t help but feel guilty sometimes.

Especially when I need to extend my ‘working hours’ to more than an hour.

So the other day I decided, enough of work and the internet. I’m going out with my little boy.

I told myself, just get out of the house and have an ‘uninterrupted’ twosome time with him (while at the same time, use up my shopping vouchers, hehe)

And so, off we went to Orchard.

We took the bus, we played guessing games, we walked hand in hand, we had lunch together.

And he happily napped on the bus on our way back.

Ah it was a good day out.

And I think our little guy enjoyed mommy’s full attention too.

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