Me and my family last week at Vivo City.

And I love how one particular shot can tell quite a bit of a story.

See if you can spot,

Vai in Wilson’s arms.
The rest of my families behind them.
The ’still-under-construction’ Sentosa Integrated Resort.
People working out in the gym.
And, me.

*smile*

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It’s been FIVE months since Anya first started her ballet class.

There were days when she looked forward to her classes. And (of course) there were days too when she told me she ‘didn’t feel like going to ballet’ (more specifically, because she didn’t want to stop playing with her play-doh at the time!)

Kids change their minds about things, easily (read : they can easily give conflicting opinions about something within a short span of time)

And so yes, I do sometimes wonder if Anya really does like ballet.

…

The other day, as we walked home together from her ballet class, we had this conversation:

Mommy : Anya, today is your last ballet class ya …

Anya : (puzzled) Why won’t there be any more ballet class next week?

Mommy : Oh it’s because you’re already at the end of the term, and if you’d like to continue doing ballet, I would need to register and spend some money to pay for the new class …

Anya : (still puzzled) You have to pay for the class ?

Mommy : Your ballet class is not free. Somebody had to work, spare some money and pay for each of the session you go to so that you can learn ballet.

Anya : (quiet for about 5 seconds, then she looked at me) Mommy, can you please spare some money to pay for my next class then? I like my ballet class and I want to continue, Mommy …

Mommy : … Let’s talk to Daddy later about it, okay … and we’ll then see how it goes …

…

Even before I had that conversation with Anya, we planned to extend her ballet class in a few days time anyway.

I intentionally started the conversation though, to introduce the concept of ’someone needing to pay for her classes, etc’. And I intentionally didn’t immediately say ‘yes’ to her request (ie. letting her wait for a decision after a talk with Daddy), so that she went through a ‘waiting period’ as well before she got her answer.

[My belief is that, when one waits for some time to find out if she's going to get what she requested earlier, it'll increase the rate of appreciation towards what you finally get. I mean, as compared to always getting things 'immediately']

Anyway.

I didn’t quite know how the conversation would go when we first started talking about it. But really, to actually hear it genuinely requested by the child herself (who has started to slowly understand how many many things in life are apparently not free) was … nice.

And yes. It was encouraging too.

At least to her mommy who sends, waits and picks her up from class every time.

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We parents are full of faults. We all make mistakes.

But one of the things I’d tell myself is, the fact that no parents are perfect should never be my excuse for not wanting to always change for the better.

I shared the other day about Dr Kevin Leman’s book ‘Making Children Mind without Losing Yours’ and in that book he shares his thoughts on this topic too:

Mistakes are part of the journey called parenting. But the good news is that you can learn from them. You can improve your parenting, building responsible kids and building joyful relationships with them.

Today I’d like to share with you an extract from Dr Leman’s book ‘Making Children Mind without Losing Yours‘, ie. the part where he shared some of Larry Tomczak’s practical suggestions on how to make a child feel loved (especially since I think sometimes we parents unintentionally do or say things that make our children feel ‘the opposite’).

Anyway.

Happy reading, and hope today’s parenting tips encourage us all to be a better parent to the little ones whom God has lovingly entrusted in our care.

…

Here are a few practical suggestions for making a child feel loved :

1. Make sure you see your children as God sees them - as a ‘gift’ and a ‘reward’, not as an interruption or an accident

2. Cultivate a childlike attitude.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Rediscover play. Walk barefoot together across the wet grass. Ride a merry-go-round. Act out a story instead of merely reading it.

3. Give your children direct eye contact
A child has a critical need for focused attention that enables him to feel respective, important and loved.  “Daddy (or Mommy) really cares about me … what I say … what I do.”

4. Physically express your love
Regular hugging, kissing, sitting close together, tousling hair, tickling, rubbing backs … putting an arm on the shoulder .. are all absolutely essential to assure a child’s emotional security and to nurture his self-esteem. They communicate this thought : “I like you and enjoy being with you.” These are the building blocks of a strong , healthy love bond.

5. Train yourself to be a good listener
Listening requires discipline, especially with children who can tell you the same Winnie the Pooh story a hundred times. It involves the eyes, ears, mind and heart. It means kneeling at times so as to be on their level and to communicate eye to eye. it’s important that as parents we respond to our child’s feelings. Such statements as ‘Not now, I’m busy” or “Tell me later” say to a child I guess I’m not as important to Mommy and Daddy as other things are.

6. Spend … time together
There simply is no substitute for regular, consistent time spent together doing ordinary things (eating, working, walking, praying, driving, swimming, shopping) or “making memories” by doing extraordinary things (visit to the zoo, pet shop, amusement park, or hospital; picnicking, biking, building a model plane, sight-seeing, etc)

[Riding the Luge together with Anya @ Sentosa Island]

Spending time with your children does create great memories.

A child’s life is so pliable during the formative years. Do your best to give your child a great gift every day: yourself! And be sure to listen.

All parents look back and realise how quickly time passes. Use your time wisely. Listen to your children when they are little. They are much more likely to talk to you when they are older!

…

Personally I hope to remember and apply these points ‘consistently’ as a parent to my two little ones. But the fact is of course, I can’t.

There are (many many) times when I realise (usually afterwards!) how I didn’t listen well to what Anya was trying to tell me earlier on. How my eyes were more fixed on my mobile phone, replying text messages, and not really paying attention to what Vai was trying to show me.

And I do feel guilty afterwards. For not doing what I know I should be doing instead.

And when I do feel bad, I try to think how we parents should never stop at just feeling bad.

We should actually reflect, try our best to rectify what we’ve done wrong earlier if possible, and move forward towards the better.

For it IS possible for us to do so. With God’s help.

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Vivo City.

Vai and his grandpa.

Sixty seven years apart.

Hand in hand.

Love the moment.

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I found a ‘Chinese New Year Greeting’ video we recorded in 2007!

Anya was close to turning 3 years old, and Vai was only about 6 months old there!!

Click HERE to watch it!

And that sums up our greetings to you all!

Enjoy the clip!

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[Vai : Sunset on Siloso Beach]

In the stars His handiwork I see,
On the wind He speaks with majesty,
Tho He ruleth over land and sea,
What is that to me?

I will celebrate Nativity,
for it has a place in history
Sure, He came to set His people free
What is that to me?

Till by faith I met Him face to face
and I felt the wonder of his grace
Then I knew that He was more
than just a God who didn’t care
That lived a way out there

And now He walks beside me day by day,
Ever watching over me lest I stray,
Helping me to find that narrow way
He’s Everything To Me.

…

Words and music by Ralph Carmichael

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I’ve had people sharing with me how they find taking photos of their children … challenging.

And yes I must agree. Some kids are naturally camera shy. When these little ones realise that a camera is pointed at them, they’d run away, look away or come TOWARDS the camera. Some would cover their face with their hands too!

For my case however, I must say I’m blessed with kids who (so far!) are generally okay with the idea of being photographed (read: they’d smile towards the camera most of the time, though for Vai’s case he’d most likely make lots of silly faces too!)

[Left - Right : Noah, Nathan, Vai and Yuta]

Now. The challenge, I think, is doubled when it comes to taking photos of a GROUP of small kids!

Getting a decent photo of ALL of them looking at the camera (and we’re not even talking about them smiling away) is just plain HARD.

Say, in a group photo of four, three may look towards the camera, but one looks at his toy.

Or, if they’re all sitting down, one may somehow feel the urge to stand and walk away (err … or, cry).

And I usually end up taking AT LEAST five quick shots (while at the same time making all sorts of exaggerated noises and silly cheers to get the kids to look at the camera).

There’s this one general approach that ‘usually’ works though :

- Get the little kids to sit down against a wall (or a bench or a sofa, basically it’s good if you can have something behind their back so that they won’t lean back, etc)

- Get someone else (ie. NOT the photographer) to be the ‘joker’

- The photographer must be ready way before the kids are all seated down

- And as soon as ALL kids are seated, the joker then makes sudden (and different!) noises somewhere behind the photographer, eg. clapping hands, doing a silly dance, WHILE making a weird (yet loud enough) sound of a bird, hehe.

Or, it could be something like a toy that gives out a loud continuous squeak. Basically, strange loud noises work rather well!

Whatever it is, the kids may all look at the camera, at the same time, for only a second or two. And that’s your chance, before you need to do your various attention-grabbing tricks all over again.

[After six attempts, this is the most 'decent' shot of everyone that I managed to get, hehe]

…

For my case, lots of the shots I took of Anya and Vai together were candid ones. Taken without going ‘one … two … three …’

But it’s not always the case.

If I set out to get shots of them with a specific ‘theme’ (like when I took the shots used on our Christmas card last December, and our Chinese New Year’s card last year), I usually make fun of myself BIG TIME! Haha. Really, you should’ve seen how our session went!

I made super silly faces, noises and moves, and played silly games of catch (and many others!) to get the kind of shot I want (eg. of them hugging each other and smiling naturally to the camera).

[As for that Chinese New Year's card, we had quite a few 'squashed' oranges too as Vai kept tossing them to the floor!]

Yes, in most cases a whole lot of efforts is needed when it comes to taking photos of our little ones.

And sometimes, even after all that, we just make do with whatever shots we manage to capture at the time (read : of most of the kids looking everywhere else BUT the camera!)

…

How about you and your experience in taking photos of little kids?

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This is the exciting news I was talking about!

Yesterday I wrote about these cute soft leather baby shoes called Cheeky Little Soles, and today I’m letting you all know that YOU have a chance to win a pair for FREE! (Retail price : S$33.90)

Yes yes, another GIVEAWAY CONTEST!

Littletoez.com is giving away FOUR adorable baby shoes specially to Our Everyday Things readers! (Thanks Little Toez n Kidz!)

And the four cute baby shoes that are up for grabs are :

Baby boys:
- Retro Chocolate, size XL
- Strike, size L

Baby girls :
- Butterflies, size XL
- Nesting, size L

[If you're wondering about their lengths in centimeters, click HERE to find out!]

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Now, here’s the ‘HOW TO ENTER THE CONTEST’ part.

1. Click HERE to visit Littletoez.com and check out their Cheeky Little Soles collection

2. Leave your comment on THIS blog post, with answers to the following :

a. Tell us your baby’s gender (and you’ll automatically be in the running to win one of the two pairs, depending on whether yours is a baby boy or baby girl)

b. Name ONE Cheeky Little Soles shoe design (OTHER THAN the four designs that will be given away here)

c. Tell us how you first found out about the contest giveaway

AND

d. Share my blog URL to friends and families.

You can :

- Blog about this giveaway contest on your site

- Click HERE and share my blog URL on Facebook, that is if you’re on Facebook

- Share my blog URL and this giveaway contest to those you know via email!

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

IMPORTANT INFO :

1. Make sure you enter a valid email address because that’s how we’re going to contact you if you are one of the lucky four winners! (btw, your email address will not be displayed)

2. If you’ve won, we’ll ask for your mailing address and send the shoes over to you by standard mail

3. Contest is open to those who live in Singapore

Well actually if you don’t live in Singapore but have a friend here who’d LOVE a pair of these cute baby shoes for her little one, you CAN always enter the contest. You’d of course need to have your friend’s complete mailing address here in Singapore if you’re one of the lucky winners!

4. A ‘quick link’ to this contest is also on the side bar

5. Contest ends on Thursday, 5 February 2009!

We’ll then pick the four lucky winners randomly!!

Hint : One email address per entry, but if you have more than one email account, then …

Anyway.

I LOVEEE giveaways! I love giving something tangible to parents out there through this site!!

And hey you know what! By the time the winners are announced and the winning shoes are delivered to four lucky recipients, it’d be sometime around Valentine’s Day!

And I reckon THAT would be a really nice Valentine’s Day gift to your little one!!

So … what are you waiting for?

All the best everyone!

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I still remember the time when we went to shop for little baby shoes for our kids. We went and bought pairs that we thought would fit our kids’ feet best. But really, one thing that often crossed my mind at the time was, do babies REALLY need shoes?

It’s only recently that I browsed and read a bit more on babies and shoes. And here’re some interesting things that I found:

- Our foot is made up of 28 bones, 107 ligaments and 19 muscles!

- Going barefoot is BEST, according to the experts. The toes get a better grip and it allows the baby to develop foot strength.

- But, letting our baby go barefoot may not be practical at times, especially when our little one has started to stand and cruise. Their tiny little feet need protection from rough surfaces (not to forget grimy floors when you’re in public places!), and from the cold if you don’t live in the tropics.

And when choosing shoes for your baby :

- Baby shoes should be soft and flexible so he can use his feet properly when learning to balance himself

- The soles should be soft, flat, non-slip and not ‘thick and hard’ as this may trip the baby up!

…

One soft-soled baby shoes I came across recently are those from Australia called Cheeky Little Soles.

Its business owner, Lisa - an Australian Mommy of two, is apparently the designer too! (I’m always inspired by such creative mommies!)

I love their really cute designs, AND the fact that these leather shoes come with black suede-padded soles too, which prevent our little ones from slipping.

And another good news is, if you browse around and find a pair (or two, or more!) that you like, they’ll deliver them to you locally. Yes, they have a distributor here in Singapore - Littletoez.com!

Just click HERE to check Little Toez online shop and the different Cheeky Little Soles designs they currently have available!

Happy browsing!

PS: More exciting news is coming real soon!

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Anya is now 4 years and 10 months
Height : 109 cm
Weight : 16.4 kg

Vai is now 2 years and 5 months
Height : 98 cm
Weight : 16 kg

…

Recently I’ve been going through lots of ‘down moments’ with Anya. Things have not been nice and sweet.

But really, when I lay still at night and run through the stuff that’s happened earlier that day, I know I still need to be thankful to God for giving to me, to my family, all the blessings and especially the strengths that we need to be parents to our little ones.

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