My ‘date’ with Vai
Before Vai came along and joined our little family, we spent a whole lot of time with our ‘only’ child, Anya. We went out and about even when Daddy couldn’t join us. We’d do activities together. Countless one-on-one time.
And when Vai came along, things naturally changed.
Both kids are almost always together and even when Anya’s started her 5-day-a-week nursery earlier this year, Vai’s daily schedule sort of ‘follows’ that of his older sister’s.
He comes along when I send Anya to school. And when I pick her up afterwards. He too sends Anya to her ballet class.
I don’t know if moms of two or more kids out there feel the same way as I do, but frankly, although we shower Vai with as much love and although we know that it simply is the reality of ‘not being the firstborn’, I sometimes feel I miss going out and about with him. You know, just me and him. The kind of time that almost all ‘firstborns’ get to experience.
And so the other day, I arranged something a little different.
Instead of coming back home after sending Anya to school, we went to Orchard!
Anya had her one-hour chinese enrichment class after school that day, and so Vai and I had a good 3.5 hours in our hands!
We took the bus to Orchard Road, ate, hung out, checked out Borders bookshop and when Vai napped on his stroller, I even had a bit of me-time checking out the books there! I then took the bus back to Anya’s school, just in time to take a little peep at how she’s doing in her Chinese class before it ended!
It went really well!
I enjoyed the change in my daily routine, my date with this little guy AND that extra me-time towards the end!
I’m so tempted to do this again next week!
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Leave a comment!
Matt:
Yes you are, aren’t you? 🙂 Oh well, if only we can find a babysitter who can look after the kids for 2-3 hours, and whom the kids feel comfortable enough to be left alone with them! Hmm. May be… with uncle matt and auntie Jen, one day ? 🙂
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Nic:
Oh do you think ? I can’t really see how it resembles my smile though haha …
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Jen:
If those arrangements can be made weekly (one-on-one time, mommy’s ‘me-time’, AND two-some time with hubby), wow that sure would be nice!!
For my case, due hubby’s busy work commitment, my ‘time off’ from kids is only when they’re both asleep at night.
Hello Leonny,
I too have two kids to handle…my youngest boy is almost same age as Vai. Yeah, I think it’s a nice idea to have a one-to-one time with just one kid. I suppose what would be good for me is to take one and my hubby the other….Oh yes, but I must not forget that I also made a deal with hubby to give me a ‘day off’ every week from the kids for much needed rest from boys!
Hey, the 2nd pic, Vai’s smile looks like yours very much! I used to think he doesn’t resemble any one of you, now I do 🙂
Beside a date with Vai, I guess you need a private date with Wilson too! I reckon nowadays, I am spending much more time with him!
Sandra:
Yes this sure is one of the ‘downsides ‘ of having more than one kid (I happened to have read your blog post last night about your thoughts of having no.2!:) )
But, there are heaps of other good stuff that comes with having more than one though 🙂
Whatever is our decision, most importantly I think is the quality time spent with our kid(s) ya …
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Siska:
I’m not surprised if you feel super sleepy at home! You care for a toddler during the day, and work your night shift, getting only about 2 hours of sleep everyday? Yikes! And now you’re pregnant with no. 2 as well! I lift my hat off to you for surviving your days and months and years!
Kudos!
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Claudine:
Yup, I DID have a great time out and about with Vai! 🙂
PS: I LOVE your knitting works! I don’t knit, but I like seeing other people’s projects, like yours or soulemama’s!
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Ing:
Wow … when you mention our ‘third, fourth’ kids … frankly I can’t imagine how my days would be having ‘more’ than two 🙂
Kudos to moms of more than two who can juggle everything and strive to give each child one-on-one time too!
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Zhen:
Yup I also feel that with no.2, it’s tougher to find time ‘alone’ with no. 1. For my case, I somehow feel at least Anya had her share of many many one-on-one time (at home and out and about) last time.
I do sometimes miss having that one-on-one time with Anya NOW though, like how it was before.
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Fay:
Thanks Fay!
We plan to stop at two kids (but then, as we always say, we’ll have just two, UNLESS God plans differently…)
Oh but definitely, yes I too feel that middle-borns tend to be ‘unintentionally short-changed’ the ‘most’ somehow ya …
Thanks for writing in and sharing, Moms!!
When I write about not having that one-on-one time with Vai .. it’s more about not being able to ‘go out and about’ with him that much.
Because actually both he and I do have together with each other when Anya’s at school, BUT we tend to do the ‘same’ thing (ie. send anya to school, go back home, pick her up from school, go back home) on weekdays. We don’t get to ‘go out’ much and do fun stuff ‘outside’ of our daily routine. Unlike Anya’s earlier days.
Oh well … can’t have the ‘best’ of everything, huh? Just striving to do our best as parents to our little ones …
Leonny,
Take advantage of the time you have with Vai now. I don’t know what your plans are, but I think with more than 2 kids, the middle one(s) get “short-changed” because they have to “share” their time with the younger sibling(s) when the oldest eventually starts full day school. I’m looking forward to more one on one time with my 2nd when my 1st starts kindy next year.
Thanks too for the reminder that “our time is now”.
-fay
On the contrary, i spend more alone time with No.2 as I became a SAHM when No.2 arrived. I was too busy working when No.1 was a toddler. Now with No.2 tagging along, it is almost impossible to spend alone time with No.1. When No.1 goes to class, I have all the time in the world for No.2.
I can identify with that. Have always felt the same way too about my No.2… His schedule also seems to be following that of his elder brother. Sometimes I feel bad that he doesn’t get as much one-on-one time with us as compared to my eldest. Well, we just have to make that extra effort to plan such times with our 2nd (or 3rd, 4th…) child. Go ahead and do it again next week if you can! 🙂
It’s great that you get to have one-on-one time with Vai. Sounds like you had a great time! I agree, you should do it again!
gw ga bisa kasih komentar dulu deh. soalnya ga tau sih, tp scr common sense sih emang bakal sedikit sekali waktu one on one dgn anak nomor 2 yah.. krn kan kita toh ga mungkin abandon encinya juga. tp yg lu lakuin tuh good idea banget, Le… klu gw ntar msh ada sisa tenaga dan waktu, gw bakal ikutin ide elu ini. takutnya gw tuh bakal super capek dan yg pasti ngantuknya itu lohhhh. hahaha. skg aja JL sering gw tinggal tidur pas pagi. soalnya mata gw asli udah ga bisa buka. pulang kerja cuapekkk banget rasanya. dulu msh bisa, sejak hamil, jadi spt makan obat tidur aja, bawaannya ngantuk banget sepulang kerja. hehehe. yah semoga stlh lewat masa hamil, udah bisa ga ngantuk lagi deh.
This is one of the many reasons why i hesitate with having No. 2 – i grew up as an only child – i was done growing when my brother came along so… – anyhow, i always felt that No. 2 would be short-changed so to speak … but what u have done is fanatistic!! 🙂