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When we obey something simply because we’re ‘afraid’ of the punishment we may get from not obeying, that’s known (in psychology) as the ‘lowest’ level of obedience.

Basically it’s because our ”fear of punishment’ means there’s NO inner transformation.

When we think there’s no one watching, we often end up doing what we know is wrong. Because we think we won’t ‘get caught’ anyway.

When we obey and do what’s right, it should be because we know why we should be doing it.

And I find this principle so applicable. To me personally and the kids.

I try my best to always explain to Anya the reasons behind our decisions for her. You know, WHY she can or cannot do something. Of course most of the time she still throws her tantrums after knowing the reasons. But at least she knows.

[I find the best timing - when she'll be so much more receptive of what I say - is when she's over the tantrum or when we're cuddling up, sharing how our day has been, just before bedtime]

I also tell her during our daily conversations that when Daddy and Mommy are not with her, God is always there, watching over and taking care of her. Which means she needs not be afraid, and she needs to learn to be responsible for everything that she does (although we parents are not there to ‘discipline’ her).

And as for me, … I’m again reminded of how I should live my life.

Even when “no one” is watching.