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It’s been more than 3 weeks now and there were ‘good’ and ‘not so good’ days (obviosly!)

Good days are when she tells me when she needs to go to the loo. When she sits on our toilet and quietly ‘reads’ MY book (on What to Expect: Toddler Years!).

But today was one of my worst. A day when my patience was running really thin and I really felt like giving up. Sigh. Let’s just say that it was like as if she never knew or heard the word potty or toilet before. For the whole day she just did there and then.

I then asked a good friend of mine about her experience with her kid (she’s happily graduated from this phase of toddlerhood!) and she said it’s a normal part of toilet training.

Her advice:
Try not to count the number of accidents your kid did that day, so you won’t get too stressed (Ha! Easier said than done of course, considering I’m the one who had to continually wipe the floor). One fine day, she said, your kid will just start doing it in the toilet.

Sigh.

Can’t wait for that happy day to come.

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It’s always interesting to see how some people teach little kids.

This morning Anya and I sat at the back of a taxi, and when the taxi stopped a traffic light, Anya stood up to take a look at the huge bus next to us. Then the middle-aged taxi driver turned, looked at Anya and said:

“Careful ah, little girl … this thing is hard, you know (pointing to his chair and the rest of his taxi). If you stand, you’ll fall. Then you get blood. Don’t want blood, right? If you have blood then you’re not pretty anymore. Must sit down. Be a good girl. Then, no blood. You stand up, you get blood, ok? Blood. Blood everywhere.’

Basically that’s how he talked throughout his one-minute lecture, while Anya looked at the man as he spoke to her.

Luckily he spoke in English, so I could translate what he said differently in Indonesian.

Basically I told her, ‘He said, you must be careful, because if you stand while you’re in a taxi, you can fall and it’ll hurt. When we’re in a taxi, we all need to sit down. Don’t stand because it’s dangerous.’

I think he said the word ‘blood’ more than 10 times. And it’s just interesting to see how some people feel the need to teach little kids by explaining stuff and associating it with blood and other scary consequences.

I guess with the kinds of TV programmes and violent contents we have nowadays, and the fact that some parents allow their little kids to watch them all, kids naturally become more used to the idea of blood and violence.  And if that really is what’s happening in the majority of households these day, then that’s a scary fact.

Wilson and I always try to be careful with the kinds of TV programmes Anya gets to see, the kinds of music she listens to, the kinds of words we use when we talk to her and when she’s around, because we know every little thing that little kids see, hear and watch, they all get absorbed in their minds. Unfiltered.

At such a young age, they’re not yet able to screen what’s good and bad, what should be followed and what shouldn’t, so it really is our responsibility as parents to screen for them and teach them what’s right.

And to be able to carry such a big responsibility, I know I always need to pray and ask for wisdom from above.
May God help us parents.

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Okay it’s a bit sad to admit but I’ve been in Singapore for almost 7 years and I’ve only stepped into a library twice so far.

My latest visit was to the National Library in Woodlands last week. Two reasons why I went:
1. Because it has the largest little kids’ library and
2. Because Han’s mommy asked if Anya and I wanted to go together with them. Hehe.

Not that I hate libraries or anything. I just don’t really go to libraries.

During my school and uni days, I went only if I needed to get reference books. Or to use their photocopier machines. And I’m definitely not one of those people who can study for hours and hours there. The quiet library cubicles somehow managed to send me to sleep faster than watching a boring movie.

But of course, now that I have my own kid, I have better reasons for going to the library. AND so for the first time in my life, I became a member! Yay!

For Singapore Permanent Residents, you need to pay only $10.50 to be a member for life. You can then borrow up to 4 books for a period of 3 weeks! If you want to register your kid too, just pay another $10.50 and you can borrow 4 extra books! (ps. don’t forget to bring his/her birth certificate). Membership is free for Singaporeans.

And one excellent thing about National Libraries here in Singapore: the whole system is SO integrated. To return their books, just drop them off at ANY of their national libraries (and there are plenty to choose from).

And, oh … these are photos of Anya and Hans, just before we left. Hans was busy browsing while Anya kept her cool and looked on.

Kids these days.

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Yes, our family is expanding soon. I am 11 weeks pregnant and Baby no. 2 is due sometime around early September. We’re so blessed!

Anya’s been mature and understanding about the whole baby news. When I told her about it, she pointed to my tummy and said “Baby. In mommy’s tummy. Anya … big sister.” Hehe. She’s so cute.

Some people asked if I am ready for another baby. Especially knowing that we do everything ourselves here in Singapore (read: no maid, no nanny).

But really, I do feel I’m ready, in a sense that I don’t want to have the baby next year or in a few years time. I’d like to have one this year if God entrusts one to our family, that is.

In a few years time, I’m not sure if I’ll have the stamina to look after a toddler AND a newborn baby. I prefer to get it over and done with. To get tired once and for all. To not have a huge age gap between the 1st child and the 2nd one. And right now, I think it’ll be just nice. By the time baby no. 2 comes, Anya will be 2.5 years old!

Now about the pregnancy.

This time round is a bit different compared to when I had Anya though. My so-called morning sickness (that actually lasted for the whole day!) came early. It started when I was only 5 weeks pregnant. I felt bloated (even right now) and I couldn’t eat much at all (though it’s better now!). Strong smells make me gag, too. Good thing I don’t actually vomit.

Yes, they say every pregnancy is different. I’m just glad mine hasn’t been so bad so far. Anyway, I plan to do up another ‘Pregnancy days - Week by Week’ page again for baby no. 2.

Will let you know when the page is ready!

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Today, Anya’s accidents got me down to my knees again. THREE times. Sigh. Not sure what went wrong. She was only 5 steps from her potty! And the thing is, it’s been alright these past few days, like only one or zero accident a day.

But then again, people do say potty training normally takes a FEW WEEKS. So I really shouldn’t complain since we’re only on day 16.

I guess I just wanted the whole process to be faster that I forgot how much Anya has actually improved and achieved over the past 2 weeks.

And this whole experience is a gentle reminder to me too, that mommies need to remember to learn and be patient too.

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When it comes to playtime with Anya, Wilson’s always been the physical one. They’d chase each other across the room. He’d lift her up high and swing her around. They’d roll about on our bed. They’d go silly and jump around.

And I’m kinda the opposite. Though not completely. Anya and I would play playdoh together. Share stories while sitting on the sofa or lying in bed. Tickle each other silly. Cook something up together. Read books. That sort of stuff.

But I think our overall difference in the way we interact with Anya is good, because it makes our ‘play approach’ kinda unique to her. And she gets to enjoy the best of both worlds too *smile*

When it comes to parenting, a few things are for sure though:

> Wilson and I always agree on something in front of Anya. Like, she’ll never get a ‘Yes’ from me, if Wilson already said ‘No’ to her. This way, we want her to know that she can never gain one parent’s favour over another. And that her parents always support each other’s decision.

> When one parent’s disciplining the kid, the other will not interfere, criticise the other parent or ‘defend’ the kid (even if we actually disagree on something, we do it after the whole thing is over, and of course when the kid’s away or something)

> We never argue, fight or do negative stuff to each other (or to other people, of course) in front of the kid

Hmm… somehow our unwritten list of parenting ‘rules and understanding’ is quite long. Some we agreed upon before we even had the kid. Some we discuss and build upon as we go along and learn more about parenting itself.

But anyway these are just some of the stuff I can share right now. Hehe. Perhaps next time I’ll share a few more.

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Anya used to have a little ‘house’ in our living room. Hmm, it’s actually a cardbox that I converted into a house. Haha.

Now, that box has been in our living room for nearly ONE MONTH. It’s always about to fall down AND it does makes our living room look smaller.

And so we decided to throw it away today. And of course, not wanting to make Anya confused and sad, I explained why it’s time to say bye bye to her little house.

I then made another ‘house’ for her. This time is better though, because it doesn’t take any extra space in our flat! The set-up is fast and easy. It even has a ‘door’ that opens and closes. AND, most important of all, it makes the little girl VERY happy.

I draped a blanket over Anya’s high chair. Clipped some parts of it with pegs. And voila! She has a ‘house’ again!

Haha. The simplest thing in life is often the best!

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Was browsing the babyparenting site of about.com last Christmas, and saw that my blog was actually featured there under their Blog Spotlight. *smile*

How nice. Thanks Steph!

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Considering that I’ve lived (and survived) all the way through to day 9 of Anya’s potty training, I think I’ve been quite good, for not quitting, I mean.

Amazingly, over the past 9 days, Anya has improved. A LOT! She can now tell me when she wants to ‘wee-wee’ and sits on her potty. She can even ‘poo’ there too! Woo hoo!

But of course there are still accidents every day, but the rate is now very very low.

She still wears her diapers when she sleeps though and she’s not yet potty trained OUTSIDE of our home. I guess that’s the next big step for me : to take her out WITHOUT her diapers. Sigh. Can’t imagine how those days will be.

Oh well, we’ll just have to take the challenge one step at a time. It’s how we should approach life’s challenges too anyway.

To not be easily put off and discouraged by our own worries of the future.

To go ahead and take that one step though it may look difficult and hard.

To get up and try again when we fall.

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