Lately Anya’s into going up and down the steps. And she now prefers to do it all by herself. Without holding on to me or anything else. And usually after she does it (read: without falling down), she’d give herself a big smile and a clap! Hehe…

…

Wilson and I try to always encourage her to try new things, to not be afraid of challenges, to always be grateful and appreciative of other people. Stuff like that.
We’d cheer her on before she goes down that step and we’d pick her up when she falls without  panicking away (such a reaction tends to instill fear in a child, making her less interested  in checking out something new again in the future).

Anyway. I’m glad so far Anya gives herself some forms of appreciation after she accomplishes something.

It keeps her going.

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I was looking at some of our old photos when I came across these ones. A photo of Anya standing at our old flat’s main gate, looking out to our next door neighbours, often smiling and waving at them.

That was 8 months ago. She’s only 11 months old.

Apparently, Anya still does it today.

I guess it’s interesting for little ones to observe the ‘outside world’, to feel the gentle breeze, to see our neighbour’s kids walking pass our place on their way to school, etc.

It’s a simple way of ‘connecting’ with the outside world too, I guess

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Someone asked me the other day about whether or not I’ll put Anya in a child care centre, since she’s already 19 months old anyway.

On this matter, Wilson and I both agree that once children start going to school or child care centre, you can never filter all external influences any longer.

While there are positive influences from teachers and friends whom they spend hours and hours with nearly everyday of the week, realistically, there will sure be lots of not-so-good ones too.

So to us, while you still can educate and discipline the kid yourself, teaching what you believe and value as righteous, you should take on the challenge and privilege of bringing your kids yourself.

Kids will normally start their Nursery classes when they’re around 3 - 4 years old. So, really, we ONLY have those first 3 precious years of a kid’s life to teach the kid yourself. Fully.

We can’t keep our kids constantly with us forever. There will be a day when she will walk out of the house and mingle with the outside world all on their own, for hours and hours at a time too. AND if you ask me, I would like to have already taught my kid all the important lessons and values that she needs to know by then.

This of course doesn’t mean that before a kid is 3 years old, she has no social life.

We take Anya out so very frequently. She’s out and about with us and our friends (and their kids too) since she’s a month old. And when we’re at home, I also make sure she continues to learn new things too (stuff like language and motoric skills, etc)

Well anyway, this is one of the reasons why I never look down on my role as a fulltime mom. I feel it’s such a privilege to have been entrusted with a life. A soul. And, not only to care and nurture physically, but also spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, socially, morally, and … you name the rest.

And while I still have the time, while I still can, I want to do it with all my heart.

Motherhood. An honour. A privilege. A joy.

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Little kids tend to only think of themselves. To them, everyone evolves around their world.

When Anya sees a friend, she’d say, ‘Sini…’ (Indo for ‘Come here’), instead of going to her friend herself.

(Oh btw, she does the same thing to the moon, the bike, the taxi and the cars she sees on the street. Hehe).

Anyway, so far I notice how she’s quite a giver. 90% of the time she’d be happy to share her snacks / meals with others (not sure how long she’d stay this way though!)

So far we always encourage her to share what she has with other people AND be joyful about it.

And I think this is something even us adults need to learn too,  considering the increasingly self-centred world that we all live in.

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This week’s Words of Wisdom:

“Controlling your temper is better than being a hero who captures a city.”
Proverbs 16:32

A little something to think about carefully and exercise daily. Especially if you’re a parent, I think. Instead of handling and disciplining the kids with self-control, a cool-head, authority and of course, love, it’s often easier for us parents to lose our temper when faced with tough daily challenges.

Last month, I quoted some lines from a book, here’re a few more good ones:

If a child lives with …
… criticism, she learns to condemn.
… hostility, she learns to fight.
… fear, she learns to be apprehensive.
… ridicule, she learns to be shy.

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Anya refused to have her breakfast this morning. And after about 15 minutes of screaming and crying in her bedroom, alone, I let her have it her way.

No breakfast for me. As she wished.

And (as I expected), one hour later she went up to me and said, ‘Mum-mum … mum-mum’ (Indo for ‘eat’) and asked me to get her seated on her high chair. Hehe.

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Anya’s been acting all weird and cranky lately. And I suspect it’s got something to do with her MMR vaccination 2 weeks ago.

After she had the jab, we were told that within 7-10 days after the shot, there may be some side effects like fever, loss of appetite, crankiness and stuff.

Then since last week, exactly 7 days after the shot, Anya had a bit of fever. It went on for 3 days, and only in the early evenings.

On day 7, she vomitted about 10 times.

On day 8, she didn’t vomit as much but she’s really not interested in her meals. We then noticed that she had two BIG ulcers in her mouth! No wonder she cried so often.

On day 9, she cried and screamed in the wee hours. She’s really cranky throughout the day. Whined and easily annoyed at little things. Both her eyes were swollen from too much crying.

I asked around to find out how my friends’ kids reacted to the vaccine. Well, some said they’ve postponed the shot till their kids are older (The Ministry of Health sent them letters though, to remind them that their kids’ MMR vaccination is due. Haha. The Singapore government is sure doing a great job at checking and monitoring the population!).

And some told me how their kids had no reactions whatsoever after they had their MMR vaccine.

Now, it’s been 12 days since her shot. Her mouth ulcers are better. Her appetite returns. Her fever’s gone. BUT, she’s still cranky and moody! Well, Anya’s not always cranky, but s on average, she’s 70% more cranky than usual.

I actually thought that perhaps her Terrible Two comes early.

Anya screamed, shouted, cried, whined and grumbled about things that she usually is alright with. And it’s just strange! At times, she’d scream when I’m about to put on her diapers. She’d cry and whine about having her bottoms washed. She’d enthusiastically start eating her favourite breakfast and 2 minutes later she’d refuse to have her meals. Pfft. I’m sure all my surrounding neighbours can really hear her.

Yes, I do notice how she wants to exercise her will power nowadays. Even more so than before. She’d want something to be done her way and if she doesn’t get it, she’s scream, ‘No! No! No!’ and cry out loud.

And how do I handle all this?

Haha … I’m actually quite okay (so far!).

When Anya starts screaming over something, I’ll put her in my bedroom. If she chooses to continue her screaming, there’ll be zero audience because I simply get back to the kitchen and finish off my dish-washing. I’d return to the bedroom after one minute. Usually, she’d slowly stop crying upon seeing me. Works 95% of the time so far (and lets hope it continues to work)

Right now I’m not psychologically drained. Not yet anyway. My ears need quite a rest though.

…

If you ask me,  there’s one reason why I’m still okay so far though faced with Anya’s behaviour:

In my mind, I know Anya’s growing. Emotionally. Towards independence. And all kids will go through this phase sooner or later. And so I thought to myself, if I get depressed, cranky and lose my cool over all this, I won’t be able to survive at all.

And I DO want to survive. It’s just a challenge all parents must face.

I only hope it’ll get better soon.

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